


Murder on the KiraDax Express

by StephaniD



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien anatomy, Awkward Crush, Blanket Permission, Crushes, Gen, Murder Mystery, Pining, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Rite of emergence, concrit appreciated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-07-28 08:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20061334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StephaniD/pseuds/StephaniD
Summary: There's a murder on the station, and Ezri is forced to ask the help of one of the last people she wants to speak to, Jadzia. Post-s7, includes non-canon alien anatomy (I have too much fun thinking about Bajoran anatomy).StardustMelodies said she wanted to read a fic where Ezri uses the Rite of Emergence to ask Jadzia for help, and my brain went "Well, it'd have to be a murder, right?" and here we are. Thank you to Dandybear for the title suggestion, and everyone on the KiraDax discord for all your help with this fic! (Contains barely any KiraDax and no trains)





	1. U Already Know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stardustmelodies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustmelodies/gifts).

“Kira to Dax, you free?” Ezri’s combadge relayed early one morning.   
“I have a couple hours until my first appointment, what do you need?” She replied, looking up from her computer.   
“Come to the science lab. There might have been a murder.” Kira informed her flatly.   
“On my way.” Ezri closed the comlink and headed for the science lab, confused and intrigued. There _ might have _ been a murder? How was that something that was difficult to ascertain? Was there a possibility of suicide? 

Kira met her outside the science lab wearing a clear respiration mask that sealed around the face. She gave one to Ezri.   
“There was some sort of small explosion and we’re not sure what it is.” Kira explained as Ezri pressed the mask to her face and activated it. She snuck a glance at Kira's jawline, the mask seemed to stop before her frills. “We can’t get any sort of read on this room," Kira continued, "it’s like the computer can’t see it, engineering is working on scans. The tricorders don't pick up anything worrying in the air, but we’re wearing masks just to be safe since the dead guy looks to have inhaled something. So far it’s not an irritant to anyone’s skin, Nurse Jabara has a sample to analyze.” She continued as she lead Ezri past a Bajoran security officer and into the lab. Ezri's skin prickled as they passed through a gas-specific forcefield. Nurse Jabara was crouched down, scanning a Vulcan Lieutenant in Science blues with a medical tricorder. The lieutenant had transparent shrapnel embedded in his hands, face, and neck that leaked green blood, and the mucus membranes of his face were inflamed a vivid green. Thankfully the Lieutenant had been wearing eye protection from the shrapnel, but it didn’t save him. He looked familiar, but Ezri wasn't sure if she had seen him around the station, or if Jadzia had known him. 

“Something shattered?” Ezri frowned at the shrapnel. That was definitely not supposed to happen, ever.   
“A glass container.” Jabara responded. “It's possible it's part of an experiment, and the sealed container had some catastrophic flaw. If it’s an accident. It’s also possible that it was somehow turned into a bomb. The chances that the shrapnel have some sort of fingerprint or DNA on it are low, but I’ll check anyway.” She summarized.   
“What can I do?” Ezri asked.   
“Interview everyone on the station who knew Lieutenant Sevon.” Kira replied. “If it is a murder, they might tell you a different story than security. If it’s an accident, they might need someone to talk to.”   
"Speaking of security, where's the chief?" Ezri asked.   
"Here and gone already." Kira shook her head. "He said he was going to start informing and interviewing those closest to Lieutenant Sevon."   
"I guess I'll start with the other science officers. Where are they?"   
"Due to show up for work soon, our Lieutenant got here early."   
"It may be useful for me to observe their reactions." Ezri frowned. "Julian's getting back from his conference in a week, right?"   
"Yeah. What a thing to come back to." Kira frowned.   
"Nurse Jabara, what's your plan for the autopsy?" Ezri asked.   
"I plan to perform it in a few hours." She replied.   
"We'll keep you updated on the substance in the container." Kira walked with Ezri to the door.   
"Thanks, Colonel." Ezri turned the mask off and removed it once she was safely through the forcefield, and unsure where to put it, gave it to the Bajoran security officer, who smiled at her. 

"The science lab is currently off limits." Ezri stopped a pair of Ensigns who approached.   
"What? Why?" One asked, the other glanced at the security officer.  
"Please wait with me, I'd like to tell everyone at once. How many on your team?" Ezri asked.   
"Uh, seven total."   
Within a few minutes Ezri had six science officers gathered around her.   
"The science lab-" She started.   
"Is Sev okay?" A tall Lieutenant asked.   
"Lieutenant Sevon is dead." She informed them. Five pairs of eyes stared at her, one Ensign putting her face in her hands.   
"He what?" One of them whispered.   
"We're not sure what happened. Security chief Jearim is investigating, but right now it looks like an accident. Chief Jearim may want to talk to you about what you were working on and such to try and determine how this happened. I'm Counselor Dax, my office is open until 1900 hours if anyone would like to talk privately. I encourage you to take today to process this information. Talk to someone, if not me then friends, family, each other. I don't have much information, but I can try to answer any questions anyone has." Ezri concluded.   
"His parents know?" A junior lieutenant asked.   
"Yes, Chief Jearim is informing them." Ezri nodded. The science officers wandered away after a few silent seconds. Ezri returned to her office and sent Kira a message requesting she officially tell the science officers to attend a counseling session. She had an affirmative response within an hour. 

"I'm glad you feel better, Ensign Larom, and please tell others they can come to my office to talk privately about Lieutenant Sevon's sudden death." Ezri bid farewell to a third scientist early that afternoon. On one hand she was glad so many of them were seeking mental healthcare, and apparently on their own motivation. On the other hand, she was writing two or three different notes per session. One normal set of notes, another for if the patient is actually the murderer, and a third for information about Lieutenant Sevon. He was the head science officer, so presumably should have been better protected if the container was part of a known experiment. It also meant Nurse Jabara would be doing most, if not all of the chemical analyses, since the science lab was a crime scene and all science officers were suspects for the moment. 

Ezri sat down at her computer to find a message from Jabara stating that the substance in the container was a paralytic and killed the lieutenant in gaseous form by paralyzing his lungs and suffocating him. Ezri frowned, unsure if that explanation made sense for a Vulcan. She knew it was very unlikely the nurse had made a mistake, but she looked up Vulcan anatomy, trying to remember Jadzia's exobiology studies. She could perform the Rite of Emergence again and ask her. Ezri shook her head and pushed the thought aside. She was not going down that path again. She could simply look up Vulcan biology, and ask Jabara to explain what she didn't understand. Her research confirmed the message, of course. 

"Feeling survivor's guilt is perfectly normal, especially when someone dies unexpectedly." Ezri assured Ensign Liakkith, who had yet to look away from her lap or hands. "We often feel like we should have done something to prevent it, even if we logically couldn't have known to prevent it."   
"I don't know what experiment could have killed him, but I just want to go back in time and tell Sev to take more precautions." She replied, twisting her fingers together.   
"Completely understandable." Ezri assured.   
"It may be understandable, but it won't bring Sev back." Liakkith sighed. "He's just gone. How long until I can think about something else?" She barely glanced up while running a hand through her hair.   
"That may take some time." Ezri replied gently. "You're probably going to have to be gentle with yourself as your brain processes this information."   
"You don't have any information about the new head science officer, do you?" Liakkith asked.   
"Unfortunately not, I'm sure Colonel Kira will let everyone know when she has news to share. Are you worried about the new science officer?" Ezri replied.   
"Not worried, just wondering if they were going to want a report on the incident and how to prevent it in the future."   
"Unfortunately I can't answer that for you, but I wouldn't worry about that yet. Perhaps you could answer a question for me, though? I've noticed that the science officers all refer to Lieutenant Sevon as 'Sev', can you explain that for me?"   
"In English, Sevon sounds very similar to the number seven, so we asked if we could call Sev by a shorter name to reduce confusion, and he thought it was a good idea." Liakkith explained. "It also helped most of us feel more comfortable finding nicknames for each other, settle in, comradery, you know?" She wasn't a very physically expressive person, curling into herself, not lifting her head, though that may be from grief.   
"Thank you, that does make sense. They sound nothing alike in Trill." Ezri smiled. "Also, we're just about out of time. Please feel free to make another appointment if you want."   
"Thank you, Counselor. This helped more than I thought it would." She smiled and glanced at Ezri again she left, and Ezri started writing her notes. 

"Lieutenant Cilegna, please come in." She smiled at the tall man, her last session of the day.   
"Why do we have to talk to you but Ensign Illario's co-workers didn't?" He frowned.   
"I'm sorry?" She faltered at the blatant hostility before the door was even shut.   
"Last year Ensign Illario was murdered and people didn't have to talk to you. Why do we? Does Starfleet not think its science officers can handle a murdered co-worker like those on the Defiant?" He complained as he sat and crossed his arms.   
"I'm following orders just like you, Lieutenant." Ezri sympathized. "When Illario died he had only been on the station a few days. I can't remember if his crewmates were ordered to speak to me or not. I had a lot of patients who were struggling with grief. I imagine you've all been ordered to talk to me so you can see whether or not you'd benefit from further sessions."   
"So you're not going to ask how Sev's death makes me feel?" He asked. Ezri snorted.   
"If I wanted an obvious answer I'd just ask your name, Cilegna. I'm here if you want to talk about Sevon, or anything else, but I'm perfectly comfortable sitting here in silence if you don't want to. If I read the orders right, you just need to visit me for an hour." She settled back in her seat and closed her eyes to wait and see what his confrontational personality would do with nothing to fight. 

"If I ask you to not tell anyone something, you have to listen to me, right?" Cilegna asked a few minutes later.   
"There are a few exceptions, but 99% of the time, patient confidentiality holds." Ezri replied, opening her eyes.   
"What are the exceptions?" He asked.   
"If I sincerely believe that someone will be injured soon. For example, if you tell me that you have proof Morn is going to attack someone, I have to report it so he's investigated." Ezri explained, purposefully using an example disconnected from the situation and with comically low chance of hurting anyone.   
"Liakkith had a crush on Sev." He replied immediately.   
"Okay."   
"I don't know if you knew."   
"Patient confidentiality." Ezri responded simply.   
"It may be something to ask her about when you talk to her. His death is going to hit her really hard."   
"Because of her crush." Ezri nodded.   
"I think she was getting up the courage to ask him out."   
"But you don't think she got the opportunity?"   
"If she asked him, he'd answer, and the whole station would know. She was getting so excited too, really making a big deal out of it."   
"Thank you for letting me know, your concern for your friend is admirable." Ezri commented.   
"Well, we're not really friends." Cilegna corrected quickly. "I'm sure other officers have told you about Liakkith's crush on Sev, or they will."   
"She was really obvious about it?" Ezri asked.   
"Yeah." Cilegna nodded. "I was kind of embarrassed for her, having a crush on a Vulcan, but some people make it work, you know? Sev didn't act any differently towards her, of course, but he definitely knew about it."   
"I see."   
"They probably didn't tell you anything about how the new head science officer will be chosen, did they?" Cilegna asked.   
"No, I imagine you would know more about that than I." Ezri replied. "You would be in consideration, right?"   
"Yeah."   
"Are you worried you won't live up to the shadow Sevon left? Feel guilty about taking his place?" Ezri watched Cilegna cross his arms and close his eyes. She frowned. "Okay." She replied amiably. She'd told him she was fine to sit in silence, and if she wanted to earn his trust she couldn't go back on her word. She could use this time to start her notes on the session early. 

\- 

The next morning Lieutenant Sevon was the main topic of the briefing. Jabara reported on the chemical used to kill him and the lethality and half-life, as well as the combination of chemicals and external factors that went into the container exploding.   
"Could you send me your findings, please, Jabara?" Ezri asked. She nodded.   
"Why would a counselor need such technical information?" Security chief Jearim asked.   
"Knowing about the weapon helps me determine what kind of person would use it." Ezri explained. Jearim informed them that the glass container wasn't an official experiment anyone knew about, and was therefore not likely to be an accident. He stated that he interviewed Sevon's previous boss over subspace, as well as Sevon's parents, and would be interrogating the other scientists that day. "I'd like to join you, if I may." Ezri asked. "I interviewed most of them yesterday. Liakkith and Cilegna might be worth looking into."   
"I appreciate your input, Counselor, but interrogating a suspect is a different skill set from counseling a patient." Jearim dismissed. "Plus, any other person present during an interrogation can influence how a suspect answers questions, and they would probably wonder why you're there. But anything you can share with me would be very much appreciated."   
"I'll send you what I can." Ezri nodded. While she couldn't find fault with what Jearim said, his attitude was dismissive, even a little condescending. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore all the annoyed memories of previous Dax hosts being condescended to, assumed as lesser. Jadzia's memories of her field training were most recent, and some of the most powerful, along with Lela dealing with sexism and symbiontism in the government. 

Later that day in her office, Ezri frowned at the report from Jabara. She really didn't have the chemistry knowledge for this.   
"Computer, of the chemicals in this list, are any unable to be replicated?" She asked.   
"Tetrodotoxin has limits on replication. All other chemicals can be freely replicated." The computer replied.   
"What limits?"   
"Tetrodotoxin requires a level 6 security clearance to replicate, and can only be requested from specific replicators."   
"Which replicators can produce tetrodotoxin?"   
"Replicators in the Infirmary and Science lab have the ability to synthesize tetrodotoxin if the person requesting it has level 6 security clearance." The computer supplied. Ezri checked the security clearances of the science officers, more than half were level 6 or higher. Most of them had been on the station less than two years, as well. A lot of science officers had left DS9 during the war and didn't return. Ezri imagined they had to weigh the excitement of the wormhole and the Gamma quadrant against all the potentially lethal other excitement that the station was frequently host to. Ezri kept researching all the components of the solution and their interactions, but quickly got a headache trying to determine which of the twenty or so chemicals reacted with other, and how, and to what intensity, not even starting on reactions involving three or more chemicals. She'd ask Jabara about it later. Right now it was enough to know that the glass container exploding was done on purpose, and required more chemistry knowledge than she had. 

Bombs were attention-getting, made a statement. So the murderer likely felt ignored. Possibly they felt that their scientific knowledge was underutilized if they went to the trouble to make such a complicated solution. Which didn't really sound like Cilegna, so perhaps his not wanting to talk to her wasn't a symptom of guilt, perhaps his pointing her attention to Liakkith was genuine. And women were statistically more likely to use poison. But Cilegna's reaction to talking about the possibility of him becoming the new science officer still struck Ezri as suspect. As well as his calling Sevon's death a murder. Was that an inference or inside knowledge? 

After lunch she went to the security office to talk over her thoughts with Jearim. He had redesigned it when he took the position, so that his desk was not immediately approachable. One of the Bajoran officers informed her that Jearim was interrogating one of the science officers and would be back.   
"Do you possibly know when he'll be back? Should I wait here, or come back later?" Ezri tried.   
"I'm not sure, Counselor. He doesn't want to be bothered during an interrogation. I'd say try again later, I could alert you on comms if you like."   
"Thank you, I'll stop back in a bit." She smiled. Well, she could use this time to talk to Jabara and try to determine what all the chemicals in the solution did. 

"Counselor Dax, have you seen Nurse Jabara?" One of the nurses asked as Ezri entered Sick Bay.   
"Not since this morning, why?" Ezri frowned.   
"She's just late coming back from lunch, nothing to worry about, I'm sure." They assured. Ezri frowned.   
"Computer, locate Jabara." She directed.   
"Jabara is not on the station." The computer replied.   
"Not on the-"   
"It's okay, there's a lot of places on the station the computer can't see." Ezri interrupted the nurse. She tapped her combadge. "Dax to Jearim, Jabara is missing."   
"I told you that I'm not to be interrupted, _ Counselor _ ." He said forcefully, definite condescension on her title.   
"Jabara is missing." Ezri repeated.   
"Information that not everyone needs to know. My security officers can handle the search, please come to the security office and inform them." He closed the comlink.   
"We're going to find her." Ezri assured the nurse before heading back to the security office. 

"Welcome back, Counselor. Chief Jearim isn't done yet." The Bajoran security officer greeted her.   
"He told me you could help me. Nurse Jabara is missing, the computer can't find her."   
"We're on it." She nodded, tapping her combadge. "Atola to all available security officers. We have a missing person, please begin clearing the service crawlways and mark where you've cleared on station maps." She received a chorus of acknowledgements and opened another comlink. "Security officer Atola to Colonel Kira."   
"Kira here." Her tone sounded bemused or curious.   
"Colonel, Nurse Jabara is missing, request permission to prevent all departures until she's found."   
"Permission granted, I'll let the ship captains know."   
"Thank you, Colonel." Atola closed the comlink and returned her attention to Ezri. "We'll find her, Counselor."   
"Thank you. I'm going to wait to speak to Jearim." Ezri smiled. 

Ezri looked up as Cilegna entered the office and stopped, looking at her.   
"You're not allowed to tell anyone anything I told you." He stated.   
"That's right." Ezri replied calmly.   
"So why are you here?" He frowned.   
"I have other matters to discuss with Chief Jearim."   
"Has Nurse Jabara been found?" Cilegna asked. Behind him, Jearim frowned at Ezri, slightly shaking his head.   
"I haven't heard anything." Ezri shrugged. "But please keep this information between us, with the two most senior medical officers not available, we don't want to worry anyone unnecessarily. I'm sure the rest of our medical officers are well equipped to handle anything that might arise, so there's no need to potentially cause a panic on the station."   
"Right, yeah." Cilegna nodded.   
"We mean it, Lieutenant." Jearim spoke up. "It's not worth worrying about."   
"Okay." Cilegna nodded and left. 

"And now there's that to worry about." Ezri frowned, watching him go. "I'm sorry. I didn't consider a missing person to be confidential news."   
"When I say I don't want to be bothered during an interrogation, it's for a reason." He stated. "What do you need to tell me?"   
"The use of a bomb as murder weapon suggests someone who feels unseen or unheard. The complexity of the design suggests that the murderer may feel like their intellect isn't being put to good use, or recognized, so they have to prove that they're smart. The use of poison statistically makes the murderer more likely to be a woman." Ezri replied. "I also feel confident that both Cilegna and Liakkith have motive to have killed Sevon. A majority of the science officers also have means-"   
"Yes, I checked all their security clearances already." Jearim interrupted, annoyed.   
"Making sure we both have the same information." Ezri replied evenly.   
"Listen, unless one of your worm's past selves or whatever was chief of security or a private detective, this is my investigation." He stated forcefully. Ezri took a deep breath to prevent herself asking if having a murderer for a previous life counted as applicable experience. Jearim was likely feeling defensive about his position, especially with Ezri having so much life experience through Dax, and Jearim having to follow Odo's footsteps. An argument would not help them catch whoever murdered Sevon.   
"I previously assisted Odo with apprehending a murder and was hoping to provide you the same assistance." Ezri replied after a second.   
"What am I supposed to do with 'a bomb suggests the murderer feels unseen'? Protect their feelings when I arrest them?" He scowled.   
"From what I observed of Cilegna, he doesn't seem like the type of person to use a bomb, or poison. He's very direct."   
"This is all too speculative. I need facts. Unless you can provide me with proof that will hold up in court, I don't see how you can help the investigation." He dismissed.   
"I'll do my best." Ezri let a bit of sarcasm slip out as she left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For an image of what Bajorans look like in this fic: https://stephanidftba.tumblr.com/post/186076283221


	2. Help me, Jadzia Dax. You're our only hope?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to StardustMelodies for Jadzia's first line

"Come on, come on, you learned this in school multiple times." Ezri grumbled to herself that evening, padd in each hand and another in front of her on her table. She struggled to remember any of Dax's chemistry lessons (her own would be great, but she'd even settle for Lela's), or the chemistry involved in Jadzia's exobiology courses so she could actually understand what she was reading. Had the murderer somehow determined the length of time it would take the solution to break the glass container? Or was the reaction somehow triggered by movement? Were either of those options even possible? How did poison fit with a bomb, what kind of person would use both? Which should she focus on? And how did likely kidnapping Jabara fit into the profile? Did Liakkith or Cilegna have the means to do that? She groaned. There was too much information to fit in her head, especially when she couldn't answer the chemistry questions. Even just having a scientific perspective would help, the computer could answer her chemistry questions if only she knew what questions to even ask. 

Ezri replicated some Trill trance mud and got it heating as she found the words to perform the Rite of Emergence again. This was probably a bad idea, but what else could she do? Kira was far too busy to discuss the case and Jearim's attitude towards Ezri, and Ezri didn't really have any claim to the investigation. And with Julian at a conference and Jabara missing, they needed help with the chemistry now. And if the help came from one of Dax's previous hosts, was that so different from her normally recalling information from a previous host? She knew she was justifying a risky decision, especially after what happened last time, but given a choice between a risky action and inaction, Dax would always act. She stared at the mud as it warmed, stomach tight. She had no reason to feel anxious. She had done this before and nothing bad had happened. But that was with Joran, who wasn’t nearly as intimidating. His anger was useless against her, he couldn’t hurt her physically or emotionally. But this time… Ezri tried to swallow her nerves as the mud started to bubble. 

Ezri took a deep breath of the smell of hot mud and stepped in front of her mirror.   
"_I'nora, ja'kala vok 'za Ezri. Zhian'tara rek pora'al Zheem Dax tanas rhem Jadzia. 'za Ezri tanas rhem Jadzia. _ " Jadzia's face appeared in the mirror when Ezri spoke her name the second time. “Hi Jadzia.” Ezri smiled a little. At least Jadzia was respectful of Ezri’s time and effort and didn't make Ezri beg for an appearance like Joran had. Jadzia raised an eyebrow at Ezri in the mirror before appearing in full beside Ezri.   
"You called _ Joran _ before me?" Jadzia demanded. Okay, maybe not as respectful as Ezri had hoped.   
"I was solving a murder. A _ series _ of murders. Joran seemed like the most helpful option." Ezri defended, looking up at the last host to Dax. "Or did you expect me to use your exoarchaeology degree to figure out why ensign Hector Illario was murdered?"   
"Still, you used the Rite of Emergence to channel the most dangerous Dax host before even meeting him through your _ zhian'tara _ . It could have ended very badly, and nearly did." Jadzia exhorted.   
"I know, but it didn't. And I didn’t channel Joran this time, I picked you, but I didn't bring you forward to lecture me. The trance mud is still hot, I could end this right now." Ezri crossed her arms.   
"Alright, you're right." Jadzia relented with a sigh. 

"Hi Ezri. It is good to be able to talk to you like this." Jadzia smiled. "Let's take a look at this poison bomb that killed Lieutenant Sevon." Jadzia tried to grab one of the padds and her hand passed through it. "Right." She frowned. Ezri held it so they could both see.   
"So there's a bunch of chemicals in here and I have no clue how they interact, or how they caused the glass to explode, especially when Sevon was right there." Ezri explained. "Could the time between mixing and explosion be calculated? Could it be triggered by movement somehow? Some other method of making sure it was Sevon that was there when it exploded? Or is Sevon even the intended target?" Ezri rambled as new thoughts occurred to her.   
"Okay, one question at a time." Jadzia replied. "Determining the point at which the glass would break, and working backwards to put the solution in the container at the right moment so that Sevon would be right there when it exploded is far too complicated to calculate with any measure of certainty." She stated confidently. "There are too many variables that could fail. As for the explosion being triggered by movement, that's more doable. Let's look over the list of chemicals." 

After an hour of scrolling the padd and writing down every relevant chemical reaction Jadzia could think of, Ezri put her head down on the table.   
“I could have asked the computer for this.” She grumbled.   
"Ezri, I can't see the list if you're not looking at it." Jadzia stated.   
"We can't remember the entire thing by now?"   
"You have to look at the padd to type." Jadzia countered.   
"How about I go to bed? I'm tired, so we're not thinking straight, sleep would be good." Ezri stood up and went to her bedroom.   
"Fine." Jadzia sighed, forced to accompany her. "Earlier, did you call the mud from the caves 'trance mud'?"   
"Yeah?" Ezri replied, shedding her uniform. "It's the special mud that helps you go into a trance and contact previous hosts."   
"It's special mud from the symbiont pool caves." Jadzia corrected.   
"I got it from the replicator, Jadzia." Ezri stated flatly as she pulled on her pajamas. Jadzia sighed. 

“I’m very very impressed with how you’ve handled being joined.” Jadzia commented.  
“Thank you.” Ezri smiled and got into bed. She did her best with the Dax legacy, unprepared for joining as she was, to both learn from it and add to it.  
“But your lack of education and respect really aggravates me.” Jadzia finished. Ezri’s smile fell into a scowl, chest heating at the criticism.  
“Hey, remember how anxious you were about talking to Curzon during your _ zhian'tara _ ?” She shot. “Putting it off for years, acting like a scared child at what, 30 years old?”  
“That’s a low blow.” Jadzia glared. “You of all people know that.”  
“So don’t fault me for things that I had no control over, like growing up revering the symbionts. I still accepted Dax, didn’t I? Computer, lights.” The lights cut off, leaving Ezri in the dark with Jadzia’s voice.   
"How about a truce? You don't bring up my anxieties, I don't bring up yours."   
"You being here brings up my anxiety." Ezri intended it to be quietly snarky, but it just came off as sad. 

\- 

"The time is 0600 hours." The computer announced. Ezri groaned and rolled over in bed. "The time is 0600 hours and ten seconds." The computer announced.   
"Good morning." Jadzia said. Ezri groaned louder and pulled the covers over her head. "Mature." Jadzia noted.   
"Please, I remember you doing the same thing." Ezri countered.   
"The time is 0600 hours and twenty seconds." The computer announced. "Do you need medical assistance?"   
"No, cancel alarms, I'm up." Ezri replied, getting out of bed. 

"So I don't have any scheduled appointments with any of the science officers today, but they may walk in, and we need to determine somehow if Sevon actually was the intended target of the bomb, and if Jabara's going missing is connected I need to add that to the profile of the killer, and I should review the typical traits of a bomber, a poisoner, and a kidnapper…" Ezri stated as she walked to the promenade.   
"Busy day." Jadzia commented.   
"My first scheduled appointment isn't until 1030 hours so I can continue that chemical analysis to the best of my ability. I should probably ask Jearim about my suspicions as to the intended target. He'll probably appreciate me deferring to his expertise." Ezri thought aloud. "It's weird for me to talk to myself around other people, so I won't be able to converse with you on the promenade." She glanced towards Jadzia.   
"I remember how this works." Jadzia replied. 

"Atola." Ezri grinned at the dark-skinned Bajoran woman as she entered the security office. "Good morning.”  
“Good morning.” Atola smiled.  
“Oh, she’s cute.” Jadzia grinned. Ezri cleared her throat.  
“Any news on our missing person?" Ezri asked.   
"Unfortunately not, Counselor. The service crawlways have all been cleared, as have the runabouts, the Defiant is being cleared. After that we start searching the private ships." Atola replied.   
"Is Chief Jearim available?"   
"Yes, I believe so." Atola replied. "Good luck." She added in a whisper. Ezri smiled in thanks. 

"Counselor Dax." Jearim greeted evenly.   
"Chief Jearim, I was thinking last night, how do we know Lieutenant Sevon was the intended target of the bomb? We've been acting like that's the case, but isn't it possible that the bomb was intended for someone else?"   
"Lieutenant Sevon is the murder I'm investigating, until I find evidence to the contrary, it's most likely that he was the intended target." Jearim answered.   
"Wow, he's even grumpier than Odo." Jadzia remarked.   
"Didn't you state that both Ensign Liakkith and Lieutenant Cilegna have motive to have killed Lieutenant Sevon?" Jearim continued.   
"Lots of people have motive for murder." Ezri replied.   
"Counselor, I'm trying to solve Lieutenant Sevon's murder, please don't bother me unless it's to that end."   
"I understand, Chief." Ezri responded.   
"Wow. Is he really focused or just rude?" Jadzia asked as they left. 

"That's one mystery out of the way." Ezri sighed in her office, pulling up the list of chemicals on her computer, Jadzia looking over shoulder.   
"Let's try this from another angle." Jadzia suggested. "You said last night you could just ask the computer to list all chemical interactions. How about asking if any of these chemicals are part of a reaction that requires kinetic energy? That would mean the solution could safely sit overnight and would only activate when someone moved it."   
"Good idea." Ezri replied. "I told you sleep would help. Okay, computer, of the chemicals listed here, which combine to make a solution that only activates when kinetic energy is added?"   
"Aluminum, aluminum oxide, dihydrogen m-"   
"Please highlight the chemicals on the screen." Ezri interrupted. The computer chirped and highlighted most of the list. "That's better. Any idea how big an explosion these would make?" She glanced to Jadzia before returning her attention to the list.   
"This list doesn't have any volumes listed, Ezri." Jadzia replied.   
"Can you make a guess?" Ezri tried.   
"No, there's way too many variables." Jadzia shook her head. "We could do some experiments." She suggested.   
"We could _ what _ ?" Ezri stared at her.   
"I meant in a holosuite." Jadzia explained.   
"Right." Ezri sighed. "Tonight. What other things did I say I had to determine?"   
"Jabara being missing, and bomb vs poison." Jadzia reminded. 

"It's been a while since I've had to consider forensic psychology." Ezri sighed, typing on her computer. "I didn't even use it much when Hector Illario was killed, Joran was more hands-on." Ezri frowned. "It's probably safe to assume that this kidnapping is a means to an end, not an end in itself. That means this person is goal-oriented, and likely doesn't want to hurt Jabara, since she's missing, not murdered. Goal-oriented is more descriptive of Cilegna than Liakkith."   
"Are you going to tell Jearim?" Jadzia asked.   
"Once I check and make sure I'm remembering how to profile kidnappings correctly. And I'm probably going to send him a message, since he doesn't want me to bother him."   
"He's so rude to you." Jadzia frowned.   
"Some people don't consider psychology and counseling to be very applicable or useful." Ezri shrugged. "It is difficult to use in a court of law. Now please let me work."  
“Should I stay out of your sight?” Ezri couldn't quite tell if Jadzia was being sarcastic or not, so she decided to act as though the question was genuine.  
“That would be very helpful, especially during counseling sessions, thank you.” 

"Kira to Dax, are you busy?" Ezri's combadge relayed.   
"You can speak freely." Ezri replied. "I was about to go on lunch if you'd like to join me."   
"Sure. How about the Klingon restaurant?" Kira teased.   
"I'll have whatever you have." Ezri replied, grinning.   
"Replimat it is. Meet you in a few." Kira chuckled and ended the comlink. Ezri's smile faded as she looked at Jadzia.   
"This is going to be weird."   
"I'm glad you're friends." Jadzia smiled. "What was that about the Klingon restaurant?"   
"Neither Kira nor I like Klingon food."   
"You don't like Klingon food?" Jadzia repeated. "But Curzon and I…"   
"Yes, I have your memories of Klingon food, but that doesn't mean I'm going to like it." Ezri shrugged. "I should get to the Replimat."   
"Why not Quark's?" Jadzia asked as they walked.   
"And add to the rumors no doubt flying around the station? Rather not." 

Ezri arrived at the Replimat first, sitting at a table and keeping an eye out for Kira. When she spotted her, Ezri smiled and waved to get her attention. Jadzia had noticed Kira at the same time through Ezri’s eyes.   
“Nerys.” She breathed. Ezri snuck a glance at the woman only she could see, Jadzia was grinning with tears in her eyes. “Oh, I like her hair like that.”  
“So what’s up?” Ezri asked as they waited in line. She tried not to glance at Jadzia, getting in Kira's personal space, trying to stroke her hair. Though Ezri logically knew Kira couldn't see Jadzia, her heart beat fast and she could only half pay attention to what Kira was saying. She had to pretend she couldn't see or hear Jadzia, but that was easier said than done when the previous Dax host was only a few centimeters from Kira.  
“It’s been about 26 hours, I’m calling a meeting after lunch and I’d like you to be there.”  
“Can do, Colonel.” Ezri nodded.  
“Oh, _Colonel_, I’m so proud of you.” Jadzia murmured, trying to put a hand on Kira's shoulder. Ezri cleared her throat, Jadzia glared at her.  
“You alright?” Kira asked.  
“I’m fine.” Ezri dismissed. "26 hours since our most senior medical-"   
"Yup." Kira interrupted. Ezri frowned in worry. Where could Jabara be? Had she been without food and water for 26 hours? Could she survive another 26 or more? Ezri spent much of lunch clearing her throat when Jadzia spoke, which had Kira frowning at her, pushing her drink closer, and recommending tea. 

"I'm just going to run to the bathroom before the meeting." Ezri excused herself. She checked to be sure she was the only one in the room.   
"You can't expect me to not remark on the changes and accomplishments of one of my best friends." Jadzia argued.   
"I expect you to keep quiet." Ezri replied. "Especially now that I'm going to be in a meeting about the death of Sevon and disappearance of Jabara."   
"Which I was planning on, but there's no reason to hush me during lunch."   
"As long as we understand each other." Ezri returned to the wardroom.   
"Dax, I got you a Fanalian tea." Kira nodded to the mug on the table.   
"Thank you." Ezri smiled. Her throat was starting to get sore.   
"See what happens when you keep hushing me?" Jadzia commented innocently. Ezri cleared her throat again, reaching for the tea. "Really?" Jadzia crossed her arms. 

"Okay, now that we’re all here, most important topic: Nurse Jabara is still missing.” Kira announced. “It's been 26 hours. Jearim, you've checked everywhere?"   
"We've checked all the Jeffries tubes twice, all 3 runabouts, the Defiant, and all docked ships." He replied.   
"Engineering is still unable to scan the science lab, has that been checked?"   
"No, Colonel, I'll get someone-" He stopped as Kira held up a hand, Ezri bit the inside of her lip. It made sense for Kira to not want to waste time with talk, but it looked like Jearim was annoying her as well as Ezri. Kira's frills along her jawline were still folded, but her hair looked more voluminous than a minute ago.   
"Atola is working today?" Kira asked.   
"Yes, Colonel." He nodded. Kira hit her combadge.   
"Kira to Atola."   
"Atola here, Colonel."   
"Please search the science lab and report back. No need for safety equipment."   
"On it, Colonel."   
"Kira out." She closed the comlink. "Speaking of the science lab, Karkor, how are we doing on scans?"   
"Still no luck, Colonel." Chief Karkor shook their head. "We’ve tried just about everything and the computer doesn’t show the science lab as existing in any meaningful way."   
"Okay." Kira sighed. "Jearim, where are you on Lieutenant Sevon?" 

"As Nurse Jabara informed us, the lieutenant was killed by inhaling a paralytic that prevented him breathing and he died from asphyxiation." Jearim summarized. "The specific paralytic used can only be synthesized from replicators in the Infirmary and science lab, and only for those at security level 6 or higher. Multiple science officers have the ability to have synthesized it, but none of the replicators have a record of producing this paralytic within the last 2 months. I'm working on constructing a timeline of the average shift to determine how the killer ensured that lieutenant Sevon was the one to trigger the bomb."   
"It was triggered by Sevon?" Kira cut in.   
"That's the only explanation that makes sense, Colonel. A timed explosion would have to be timed perfectly, and could be rendered useless by something as simple as a spilled raktajino or slow turbolift." Jearim explained. Kira nodded him to continue. "Since so many officers have means, and I have yet to determine who had opportunity, I've also been focusing on motive. Lieutenant Cilegna has strongest motive, being next most senior officer." He concluded.   
"You're focusing that strongly on Cilegna?" Kira asked. "Who else has motive?"   
"Ensign Larom has been written up by Sevon a few times, might possibly hold a grudge, but the last write-up was months ago." Jearim replied.   
"Alright. Karkor, see if you can find evidence of erased replicator logs from the Infirmary or science lab, Jearim look farther back, and see what it would take to make the paralytic from other chemicals." Kira directed. Jadzia nodded at Ezri to convey that they could investigate that as well. "Dax, what have you found out?" Kira asked. 

"The use of a bomb suggests that the killer wants to get attention and make a statement, they may feel unseen or overlooked by their superiors. From what I observed, this doesn’t apply to Cilegna."   
"Could it apply to Larom?" Kira asked. Ezri considered.  
"Possibly. Multiple write-ups could leave one feeling a need to get back at their superior officer, and/or to prove that they can do their job. Poison suggests that the killer wanted a literally cleaner death, not to make a mess, but the bomb is itself a messy method of administering the poison. The killer could show this paradox in other ways. Statistically, of the humans who make up most of our science officers, women are more likely to kill with poison. I'm not saying a man didn't do this, I'm saying not to rule out women because of the use of a bomb." Ezri explained. "Focusing on nurse Jabara's disappearance, if we assume it’s a kidnapping connected to Sev's murder, this implies that the killer is viewing people as a means to an end. If they wanted to make another statement, they would have killed her. They didn't, they're just trying to slow our investigation. They're more likely to be goal-oriented than emotion-lead."   
"Isn't that everyone in Starfleet?" Kira asked.   
"Not necessarily. The murder could have been emotion-lead, both ensigns Larom and Liakkith have emotion-lead motives for Sev's murder, kidnapping Jabara shows they've planned the follow-through to try and prevent us figuring out who they are." Ezri explained.   
"Ensign Liakkith, who's that?" Kira sighed.   
"I was informed that she had a strong crush on Sev and was going to ask him on a date before he was killed." Ezri replied. "If he didn't accept the date, it's possible she got so upset she killed him." 

"Atola to Kira, we found Jabara, bringing her to the Infirmary now." Kira's combadge announced.   
"Thank you Atola. Please ask the nurses to keep me apprised, and inform the ship captains the lockdown has been lifted. Kira out." She replied. Everyone in the room visibly relaxed at the news that Jabara was safe.   
"You're saying Liakkith was so upset at getting turned down for a date that she made a bomb, killed him, and kidnapped nurse Jabara to cover it up?" Jearim summarized disdainfully. "I find that hard to believe, Counselor."   
"Emotions are powerful motivators." Ezri replied. "The hurt from the rejection could have fueled her up until Sev was dead, and now she's just doing whatever she thinks she needs to in order to not be found out."   
"I think _your_ emotions might be a bit too involved with _Sev_." Jearim replied. Oh, she'd been unconsciously using his nickname. Kira looked at her, face both expectant and concerned.   
"I'm sorry. So many of the science officers referred to Lieutenant Sevon as 'Sev', I must have picked up on it." Ezri explained.   
"You're sure you can maintain professional distance, Dax?" Kira asked.   
"Yes, Colonel. It won't happen again."   
"Anything else to report? Anyone?" Kira asked. Everyone was quiet. "Karkor, keep working on the science lab and take a look at the replicator logs. Jearim and Dax, take a closer look at Cilegna, Larom, and Liakkith. Report to Jearim and I if you find anything." She commanded.   
"Yes, Colonel."   
"On it." They all replied.   
"She's doing so well." Jadzia sighed as they all stood to get back to work. Ezri didn't bother reminding her to be quiet, the meeting was over and Jadzia had spoken the truth. And it was unfair to expect her to keep completely quiet when she got to see her best friend again. 

"Oh, Dax." Kira called her back from the doorway. Ezri bit the inside of her lip as Jearim and Karkor left. "You and Jearim have different priorities of suspect. That's understandable, I don't expect you to be in complete agreement with him, that's why you're both on this case. But he's told me there's some friction between the two of you." Kira frowned at her.   
"Yeah," Ezri slipped into more casual relation with everyone else out of the room, "I think we're having some communication issues. He doesn't seem to find my conclusions useful to how he's investigating, and I accidentally interrupted an interrogation yesterday."   
"You're not investigating on your own?" Kira asked.   
"I've reported everything I found out to Chief Jearim." Ezri replied.   
"Nice evasion." Jadzia commented with a smile.   
"Okay." Kira smiled. "Chain of command sucks sometimes, I know, but we've got to use it."   
"I just feel like I'm not helping." Ezri confessed.   
"You're doing what I asked you to, we can't force Jearim to use the information you give him."   
"Yeah. I should probably go check with him to make sure we don't both try to talk to the same person at the same time."   
"Talk later, then." Kira smiled.   
"See you." Ezri strode toward the security office. 


	3. This is our 'Getting Along' Shirt

"Chief! Chief Jearim!" Ezri called as she jogged towards him on the promenade. He turned and waited for her.   
"Counselor Dax."   
"I was wondering who you were going to talk to first, so I don't try to book an appointment with them."   
"Lieutenant Cilegna."   
"Okay, I'll start with Ensign Larom. Would you like me to message you my conclusions after each session, or all three at once?"   
"All three at the same time would be better." He replied.   
"You don't have to act like such an eager ensign." Jadzia commented at the same time. Ezri cleared her throat.   
"Alright, thank you Chief." She nodded and headed to her office. 

"You're a professional, you're a Dax, you shouldn't let him treat you like that." Jadzia lectured as they walked to Ezri's office. Ezri cleared her throat again and grit her teeth as Jadzia kept talking. "You shouldn't be treating him like he's your commanding officer." Jadzia continued as Ezri calmly shut the door to her waiting area behind them. "If you keep acting like an eager ensign, he's going to keep treating you like one." Jadzia kept speaking as Ezri calmly shut the door to her office behind them. "You're functionally equals, there's no reason to let him be rude-"   
"Will you shut up!" Ezri interrupted loudly, her voice beginning to rasp from clearing her throat so much. Jadzia stared at her, open-mouthed. "I know what I'm doing! Jearim doesn't respect my work, he doesn’t respect me, and fighting him is not going to help! I brought you forward for help with chemistry, not interpersonal relationships! I'm the one living my life, not you! _ Slugs_, you're as bad as my mother!" Ezri finished. She fell into her desk chair and typed hard enough on the computer interface to sting her fingers as Jadzia continued to stare at her in stunned silence.  
“I- I’m sorry.” Jadzia sighed after a few seconds and stepped closer. “I see you struggling and I want to help you like Dax’s memories helped me. But you’re right. You probably know a lot better than me how to deal with rude coworkers.”  
“Thank you.” Ezri closed her eyes and took a breath. “Thank you for helping with this case, and for wanting to help me with Jearim. I’m just still used to everyone wanting to help ‘cute little Ezri’ with everything, and having to prove that I don’t need their help, so I tend to overreact when people try to help. It also probably doesn’t help that the advice is coming from you.”  
“Makes sense.” Jadzia replied and leaned her hip on Ezri's desk.  
“Also, I’m sorry about last night, bringing up your _ zhian’tara_. You’re right, it was a low blow. As a counselor, as someone with my own anxieties, and as someone who remembers that experience, I really shouldn’t have said what I did.”  
“Thank you. We’ve both been out of line, huh?” Jadzia smiled weakly.   
"Yeah."   
"Need to talk to Larom?"   
"Need to set up appointments with all three and plan my approach, especially with Cilegna." Ezri frowned and turned back to her computer. “Oh, before I forget,” she turned back to Jadzia, “would you be willing to try and help me remember to refer to Sevon by his full name in meetings? I can’t have Kira and Jearim thinking I’m too close to the case and take me off it.”  
“I understand, Ezri.” Jadzia smiled. “I’ll do my best.” 

“Ensign Larom, I’m so glad you could visit on such short notice.” Ezri smiled as he entered her office that afternoon.  
“Yeah, what’s this about?” He asked, sitting on the edge of the chair.   
“I’m going to be honest Ensign, this won’t be a normal session. I’m assisting Chief Jearim with his investigation of Lieutenant Sevon’s death. I’m trying to make a sort of map of how the science officers related to each other. Did anyone treat Sevon differently than any other officer?” Ezri asked, padd out.  
“Well, Sev’s our commanding officer. I mean, he was. So of course we treated him differently than each other. He expected the best from us, and we didn’t really feel like we could joke around with him, you know? And not because he’s Vulcan, I’ve known some Vulcans who are funny in their own way, but Sev was very focused on work.” Larom explained.  
“Larom, you can speak freely.” Ezri replied. “Like I told you last time, whatever you’re feeling is valid. I don’t care if you speak ill of the dead. It sounds like Sevon was pretty strict, how did everyone react to that?”  
“Mixed? It made sense that he wanted everything done exactly right, we are scientists, but Sev could be really annoying about it.”  
“Annoying like writing you up?” Ezri asked.  
“Wait, I’m not-” Larom protested.  
“I know, relax.” Ezri assured. “I told you, I’m trying to chart interpersonal relationships. Did Sev write up or threaten to write up other science officers? How did your coworkers react to you getting written up so often?”  
“Well, Liakkith acted like Sev could do no wrong. She was like, obsessed with getting him to like her. So she always said I should stop doing things that got me written up so often. But everyone else told him to back off and stop checking my work to the hundred-thousandth decimal place.”  
“The hundred-thousandth?” Ezri repeated, shocked.  
“Not literally, it’s just a saying we came up with for how Sev was obsessed with details.”

“You said that Liakkith wanted Sev to like her, how did she show that? How did everyone react?” Ezri asked.  
“She watched him a lot, until she accidentally hit the wrong button once because she was staring at him. She made sure her work was absolutely perfect, her reports had absolutely zero errors of any kind when she turned them in. It was also kind of annoying because she’d ask us to look over her reports before she turned them in, when we’ve got our own reports to write. Sev sometimes got annoyed when her reports were late, but we’d tease him that she was just getting them up to his high standards.” Larom smiled.  
“You’d tease Sev?”  
“Sometimes. He never asked us to stop or anything, mostly he just pretended it didn’t happen.”  
“You said most of the science officers found Sev’s perfectionism annoying, along with Liakkith’s obsession with him. It sounds like the science lab was a higher-stress environment.” Ezri observed.  
“Everyone’s got things about their coworkers they find annoying, but it could get tense sometimes, yeah.”  
“Could you give me an example?”  
“Uh, not off the top of my head.” Larom frowned.  
“Was it anyone in particular who tended to cause stressful situations?”   
"Usually Cilegna would argue with Sev and then Liakkith would argue with Cilegna, and the rest of us would just quietly stare at each other and do our work, or whisper to each other."   
"What did Cilegna and Sev argue about?" Ezri asked.   
"The right research methods to get the data we wanted, the right way to motivate the rest of the team, though that was a coded argument about me. The deadlines Sev gave on our reports and the standard he wanted on them. It was like Cilegna was always arguing with Sev and Liakkith about something." Larom sighed.   
"That sounds like a tough environment to work in." Ezri frowned. "How did Sev react to these arguments?"   
"When he was arguing with Cilegna, he'd just state the reasons he chose what he did, and sometimes Cilegna convinced him that something else made more sense. But if they argued in circles for too long, Sev would just pull rank and refuse to talk about it any more. Then Liakkith would start telling Cilegna he was out of line to question the decisions of the head science officer, and Cilegna would say the science lab isn't a dictatorship, and multiple opinions are useful for scientific progress, and if their argument got too loud or went on too long Sev would tell them to get back to work. Sometimes he told Liakkith that he didn't need her to repeat his ideas, that they should be able to stand on their own."   
"Sev let them argue first, though? Didn't that increase tension in the room?"   
"Not really. Sev said that a scientist should be able to defend their choices, debate their reasoning. It just got annoying when Cilegna and Sev went on too long, or when Liakkith argued with Cilegna. Then the rest of us would stare at each other like 'I hope they shut up soon, I need to focus'." Larom replied.   
"I don't think I have any more questions right now, is there anything else about the relationships between officers you think I should know?"   
"Nothing I can think of, no."   
"Alright, thank you for your help, Larom."   
"Should I keep this quiet from the other officers?" He asked, standing to leave.   
"No, there's no need for secrecy, but I shouldn't have to interview everyone, so you can let them know that they should come to me if they have information they think I need to know."   
"Okay. Bye." 

"Well he doesn't seem like a killer." Jadzia noted as the Ensign left. Ezri nodded in agreement, waiting until the door shut to voice her opinion.   
"It's important to remember that he might have been lying the entire time, but I'm now more confident in my estimation that Liakkith and Cilegna are our top suspects. Larom just doesn't seem to have motive." Ezri moved to her computer to start on her notes.  
“Either of them coming this afternoon?” Jadzia asked.  
“Nope, they’re tomorrow, Cilegna first.” Ezri replied. “I’ve just got to update my notes on Larom, Liakkith, and Cilegna and I’m done for the day. Then dinner, and after that we can go to a holosuite and try to figure out how this bomb was made.” She sighed, rubbing her face. 

Ezri went to her quarters when she finished writing her notes. She glanced at her replicator and fell onto her couch. She couldn’t think about eating right now. She was too stressed to be hungry. If she wasn’t going to have dinner now, though, she had no excuse not to go to the holosuite and try to figure out how the bomb was made. She looked over to Jadzia, who was looking at Ezri’s meager decorations, and had been incredibly polite and quiet all afternoon.   
“Yes?” Jadzia asked, noticing Ezri’s attention.  
“It’s so weird how the Rite of Emergence doesn’t let you know my thoughts. I mean, we’re sharing my brain.” Ezri thought aloud. “Technically you’re not talking, Dax is thinking, but I have to speak aloud in order for you to, I don’t know, process and respond.”  
“I don’t understand how it works any more than you do, sorry. Maybe the next Dax host will be a symbiologist.” Jadzia shrugged.   
"I was thinking that I'm not hungry yet, so I can go to a holosuite and we can work on the bomb."   
"Sure."  
“Let me just change into more comfortable clothes first.” While Starfleet uniforms were designed to be safe and comfortable under a large number of conditions, she didn’t expect to be in any unfamiliar conditions, and nothing could compare to her own soft clothing, with nothing touching her neck, and a pocket or two for padds. 

“Oh, now that you’re not busy, Atola?” Jadzia asked as Ezri changed.   
“What about her?” Ezri frowned. Jadzia smirked and raised her eyebrows a few times. “Not everyone’s as focused on dating as you.” Ezri scoffed.  
“She seems to like you.” Jadzia pressed.  
“She was being polite.” Ezri rebutted. “And I’m not looking to date right now, I have a murder to help solve.”  
“Maybe after.” Jadzia suggested. Ezri sighed. At least they weren’t arguing, at least Jadzia was mostly accepting what Ezri said. 

“Hey Quark, I’d like to buy some time in a holosuite.” Ezri greeted.  
“Sure, what program do you want?” He replied.  
“No program.”  
“Okay, how long do you want it for?”  
“Oh, good question.” Ezri stalled. She pretended to look to the side in thought, actually looking at Jadzia for her opinion.  
“I can’t imagine it taking more than two or three hours at the very most.” Jadzia said.  
“I’ll start with two hours, but I may need to buy more time.”  
“Okay. Two hours in holosuite two.” Quark handed her the padd and she put her thumb to the sensor. “Have a good time.” He winked.  
“I’m trying to catch a murderer, Quark.” She replied.  
“I see he hasn’t changed.” Jadzia observed as they climbed the stairs to the holosuites. 

"Okay, computer," Ezri turned on her padd, "safeties on. Please take the chemicals on this list and combine them in the most efficient way to produce an explosion."   
"What is the volume of the final solution?" The computer asked.   
"Hold on…" Ezri scrolled the padd, looking for the volume of the glass container, but didn't find anything.   
"Maximum volume of 500 milliliters." Jadzia informed her. Ezri repeated the information. "And put it in a titration flask, those are easiest to seal." Jadzia leaned against a wall.   
"Put the solution in a sealed titration flask." Ezri added. The computer chirped and a cloudy light blue liquid appeared in a conical flask with stopper in the top. "Computer, please send to the padd the measurements of each component of the solution." It chirped in acknowledgement. "The solution is triggered by movement, right?"   
"Correct." The computer replied.   
"Safeties are on?"   
"Correct."   
"Place the solution on a standard science lab table." Ezri reached out a hand and moved the solution half a meter. She was stepping backwards when the stopper shot toward the ceiling. "Pause!" Ezri cried, covering her head. "That was fast." She noted, lowering her arms. "And not an explosion." She found the flask intact, the solution would be boiling if it wasn't paused.   
"What's the flask made of?" Jadzia asked.   
"Computer, what is this flask made of?" Ezri repeated.   
"Transparent aluminum alloy."   
"And what is the temperature of the solution?"   
"134C."   
"Reset simulation, solution in sealed flask on table." Ezri directed, the computer did so and chirped. "Change the flask material to glass. Jadzia, does the science lab have some sort of sealant, or would it have to be replicated?"   
"It would need to be replicated."   
"134C." The computer repeated. Ezri frowned.   
"Guess I'll have to tell Quark the holosuite is acting up, suppose that's to be expected with Rom gone. I hope it keeps being able to do math and chemistry. Computer, seal the stopper in the flask with an average sealant that has cured for 8 hours." The computer chirped. "Are safeties on?"   
"Yes."   
"As soon as the pressure in the flask, uh, vents, pause simulation." Ezri smiled when the computer chirped that it understood her directions. She moved the flask about a quarter meter and stepped back. The solution began to bubble and release white gas. A few seconds later she took another step back. The stopper shot out of the flask and froze in midair. Ezri frowned. "Computer, what is the strongest sealant able to be replicated?"   
"That answer is dependent upon the surfaces being sealed." The computer replied.   
"Glass." Ezri sighed, getting frustrated at the vocal interface.   
"The strongest sealant for glass is n-butyl cyanoacrylate."   
"Okay, reset the simulation and seal the stopper in the flask with n-butyl cyanoacrylate that has cured for 8 hours." The computer did so and chirped. "The flask is made of glass?"   
"Correct."   
"The safeties are on?"   
"Corr-" 

The computer stopped as the lights turned off. Heart beating fast, Ezri stumbled into the door in the complete blackness and found it locked.   
"Dax to K-" She stopped as she registered that her hand didn't activate her combadge, she'd only felt her shirt. She began to get nauseous.   
"What's wrong?" Jadzia asked, Ezri jerked away from her voice, suddenly close.   
"I forgot my combadge." She admitted, chest tight. "Left it on my dresser." She banged on the door a few times. "Is anyone out there?" She called. No response. "Computer?" She tried, eyes starting to water. No response. "Ohhhhh, this is bad." She sat with her back against the door, her head hidden between her knees, eyes shut tight, starting to gasp for breath as her brain conjured the worst possible ending to this scenario. "No-one knows where I am. What if the murderer did this? What if I'm stuck in here for days? I could die of thirst, and Dax could die, and not get passed to a new host, and then I failed as a host, and accepted Dax for no worms-damned reason-"   
"Ezri." Jadzia interrupted. "What can I do to help?"   
"You can't, we're both trapped in here."   
"Ezri, you need to relax. What do you do to relax during a panic attack?"   
"Sense listing, reminding myself I'm safe." She chuckled humorlessly, nervously.   
"What's sense listing?"   
"Five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can feel, two you can smell, one you can taste." Ezri explained, still unable to control her breathing. "But I'm trapped in a pitch black holosuite, alone except for you, and not safe, and I could die here-"   
"Ezri!" Jadzia interrupted again. "Breathe with me, come on, counselor." She took an audible breath in and Ezri copied her. "You won't be here for long." Jadzia assured, then took another breath in, simultaneously pointing out the flaws in her panicked thoughts and helping her slow her breathing. "Quark knows you're in here, you only paid for two hours. So he'll be wanting more latinum in less than two hours." Jadzia reminded her.   
"Right." Ezri mumbled.   
"And you're safe in here, no one can attack you. The holosuite's off so it can't be hacked to hurt you." Jadzia pointed out.   
"Yeah."

After a few minutes of deep breathing together Ezri was able to breathe normally on her own and keep her anxiety internal, at least. She still felt space-sick. "Thanks." She frowned, embarrassed.   
"Tobin can be like that sometimes." Jadzia replied easily. Ezri debated blaming her reaction on the previous host. It would be so easy, but was she really going to try to save face with a figment of her imagination?   
"That wasn't Tobin, that was all me."   
"And it's completely understandable." Jadzia replied. "But it's not a catastrophe, we'll be out in a couple hours."   
"So for now all there is to do is think." 


	4. All There Is To Do Is Think

“Can you see anything?” Ezri asked Jadzia, waving a hand in front of her face.  
“Ezri, I see exactly what you see, and right now that’s nothing.”  
“Are you breathing? Does it feel like the air is getting warm? Am I using up all the oxygen?”  
“I'm not breathing, and the holosuites aren’t airtight, you know this.” Jadzia soothed.  
“Right, sorry. Having nothing to do but think isn't great for anxiety.”  
“You know everyone gets anxious. I think if I were really here I’d be cracking bad jokes to try to hide how scared I’d be.”  
“Got any jokes anyway?" Ezri tried, closing her eyes since there wasn't anything to look at.   
"Well, we're in pitch blackness, which is good."   
"Why?"   
"You may not remember this, but I'm fantastic at shadow puppets." Jadzia concluded. Ezri snorted despite herself. “You know…” Jadzia started.  
“What?” Ezri asked after a couple seconds.  
“No, I’m not going to say.” Jadzia’s grin was evident in her voice. “I’m going to keep you in the dark.” Ezri groaned at the pun, but she was smiling just a bit.  
“That wasn’t funny.” She protested.   
“You like terrible puns?”  
“A bit.” Ezri shrugged.  
“I didn’t see that coming at all.”  
“That one sucked.” Ezri chuckled. "Though I guess it's my brain coming up with these awful puns, and I'm telling them to myself through a figment of my imagination."   
"Who would have guessed you'd make Lieutenant before you stopped talking to your imaginary friends." Jadzia commented, Ezri snorted again.  
“Each progressive host just has more imaginary friends. That’s one way to explain it.” Ezri smiled. 

“I really think you should ask Atola on a date.” Jadzia stated.  
“Please don’t.” Ezri didn’t bother to open her eyes.  
“Take it from someone who went on a lot of dates, I think she’s interested. You can’t see it but I’m wiggling my eyebrows.”  
“Please don’t.” Ezri sighed.  
“If you’re not interested in her just let me know, but my intuition says she likes you.”   
"I’m not interested in Atola. How long do you think it's been?" Ezri changed the subject.  
"I feel like it's been about an hour since we entered the holosuite."Jadzia sighed. “Is there anyone you are interested in, since you specified Atola?”  
“Like you don’t already know.” Ezri muttered, crossing her arms on her knees and hiding her face.  
“What do you mean?” Jadzia asked.  
“Because of you I have a huge crush on Kira, thanks so much.” Something about the darkness made it easier to talk about things Ezri normally kept inside.  
“Oh.” Jadzia sighed.  
“She’s super attractive, of course, but how do I know if these feelings are from me or you? I already made that mistake once with Julian.”  
“What about Worf?” Jadzia asked quietly.  
“No, I knew those feelings were from you, they were just so powerful I… ignored that part.” Ezri sighed.  
“Well, you’ve known Kira for over a year, you’re still attracted to her?”  
“Yeah. It sucks.”  
“Describe it.”  
“Describe what?” Ezri asked, confused.  
“How you feel about Kira.” Jadzia waited a minute for Ezri to speak.

“Come on, it’s not like I don’t know what it’s like. Who else are you going to talk to about this?” Jadzia urged.  
“Okay.” Ezri sighed. “I just want her to like me so badly. When she smiles, I can’t help but smile too, and when I make her smile I feel like- like I just won an award. I want to call her Nerys, like you did. I want us to have missions together, and adventures in the holosuite, and maybe even visit Bajor together and have her show me around. But I worry that if we’re ever alone together for too long, especially drunk or tired, that I’d do something stupid like tell her how I feel, or hide the entire time so I don’t tell her, which would make her think I didn’t like her or something. When really it’s the exact opposite and I like her too much, and if she ever found out I’d die from embarrassment.” Ezri rambled.  
“What if she likes you back?” Jadzia asked.  
“Don’t.” Ezri replied immediately.  
“Don’t what?”  
“Don’t get my hopes up.”  
“Ezri, you’re not going to have even a chance of doing all those things if you don’t tell her how you feel.” Jadzia pointed out.  
“I can live with that.”  
“What are you so scared of?” Jadzia asked, Ezri snorted.  
“Doesn’t ‘anxiety’ mean anything to you?”  
“Come on, counselor, think rationally here. You tell Kira you really like her, what’s the worst that can happen?”  
“She pities me because I’m still so affected by your feelings and unable to distinguish them from my own, and our friendship gets even farther apart.” Ezri replied immediately. “Or she transfers me to another posting so she doesn’t have to deal with me.”  
“I said rational.” Jadzia reminded her.  
“Or she likes me back, but doesn’t want to try a relationship because she knows about the taboo against reassociation and doesn't want me to risk Dax. There are so many ways me letting her know how I feel can end badly, but if I don’t say anything, I can keep being her friend.” Ezri replied. Jadzia sighed. “I remember her complaining to you about Odo pining over her, I’m not going to do that to her again.”  
“So don’t pine over her. Tell her how you feel.”  
“Maybe.” Ezri sighed. Jadzia let her leave it at that. 

“Is that why you’ve been so upset with me, our crush on Kira?” Jadzia asked.  
“Part of it.”  
“Tell me the rest.” Jadzia directed.  
“Why?”  
“Isn’t it good to let it out? It’s not like I can hit you or anything.”  
“That’s not why you’re intimidating.” Ezri confessed.  
“I’m intimidating? Is it my height?”  
“No, everyone’s taller than me." Ezri would have rolled her eyes if they weren't in complete darkness. "Remember how scared you were to talk to Curzon during your _ zhian’tara?_”  
“That was because he’d kicked me out of the initiate program. I didn’t know you before.” Jadzia stated, confused.  
“But you were scared of what he’d think of you. I’m scared of what you think of me.” Ezri admitted. “I’m scared you’re going to tell me how disappointed you are in me, how I’ve failed as a host.”  
“What? Why would I be disappointed?” Jadzia asked.  
“You showed up to DS9 as a lieutenant with four premier distinctions. I showed up as an ensign with a messed up brain and one unfinished degree.” Ezri reminded her.  
“That’s not-”  
“I’m living on the same station you did, I reassociated with all your friends, even though the entire point of Joining is to provide the symbiont and future hosts with unique experiences-”  
“Ezri-” Jadzia tried to interrupt again, but she had told Ezri to let it out and now Ezri didn’t think she could stop.  
“I’m trying _ really hard _ to be a good host to Dax, but I don’t know what I’m doing, I never wanted a worm, and the idea that you disapprove of me when I’m doing my best-” Ezri took in a shaky breath and hugged her knees, wiping her eyes on her clothes.  
“I wish I could hug you.” Jadzia whispered. “Ezri, you’re doing great. I meant it last night, I’m really impressed with how you’ve handled being joined. If I was in your pouch, I don’t know that I’d be doing as well. To handle Worf and Julian? I might not have stuck around on the station. And Joran? You know that I just tried to ignore him.”  
“You are in my pouch.” Ezri whispered. It took Jadzia a second to understand, then she chuckled.  
“And as someone in your pouch, I’m proud of you. Don’t worry about Dax, you’re giving sym plenty of unique new memories.”  
“Thanks.” Ezri sniffled. 

"Well, after that impromptu session, we’ve still got probably at least an hour left in here.” Ezri sighed. “Would it be weird if I took a nap?"   
"I don't think so. In fact, it's probably better than if someone found you talking to me."   
"Good thought." She felt over the floor until the found her padd, then tucked it in her shirt pocket and lay down, resting her head on her curled arm. Quark would find her soon. Jadzia wasn’t disappointed in her, or if she was, she was keeping it to herself. Ezri had nothing to worry about. If anything, she was safer in the holosuite than outside. No-one could get to her, no-one could hack it while powered down. Still, she lay awake for a while. 

Ezri woke when the door opened with a scraping noise, and shielded her eyes from the bright light in her face.   
"Dax!" Kira moved the palm beacon down.   
"Yeah, I'm fine." Ezri assured, standing. She left the holosuite to find Kira with her Bajoran mohawk partially erect, as well as Quark, Jearim, an engineer, and a nurse, who scanned her with a medical tricorder. "I'm fine, I promise, I just fell asleep. What time is it?"   
"About 2330, which means you owe me for two more hours-"   
"Like hell she does, Quark." Kira interrupted, the height of her hair increasing.   
"Do you know what happened?" Ezri turned to Jearim. In her periphery, Jadzia crossed her arms.   
"At this point, all we know is that the holosuite was hacked into and the power drained, after the doors were sealed shut. We found too many fingerprints and too much DNA to sift through." He informed her.   
"Are we assuming this is the same person as before?" She asked.   
"Of course." Jadzia replied.   
"Until we have proof otherwise." Jearim replied.   
"Then they're getting more desperate and sloppy." She observed. Jearim nodded. "Quark, we need to keep this quiet." She looked to him.  
“I disagree.” Jearim shook his head.  
“What? Why? I’d think you’d want to be able to ask people about it and surprise them.” Ezri frowned.  
“Observing the rumors that spread is more useful, and also nearly impossible to prevent.”  
“Oh, true. Guess I’m not fully awake yet.” Ezri nodded.   
"You people really want to spread the news that my holosuites are vulnerable like that?" Quark scowled.  
“Oh, I’m sure you can twist it to get more business.” Kira turned to Quark. “I’ll ask Engineering to fix the holosuite tomorrow, when we figure out who did this they’ll have to pay you for however long Ezri was in the holosuite, but for now she has a credit for what she paid for tonight.” Kira stated.  
“But-” Quark cut off as Kira’s mohawk got even more erect, close to reaching full height, and her jaw frills flared out a bit.  
“Got it?” She demanded.  
“Got it.” He repeated softly. Kira sighed and her hair and frills more or less returned to normal as she turned to Ezri. Ezri bit her lips and tried to ignore Jadzia trying to fix Kira’s hair for a second before remembering she couldn’t interact with things.  
“Dax, how long were you in there?” Kira asked.  
“Since about 1930.” She managed to keep a straight face.  
“You’re probably hungry.” Kira observed and Ezri nodded, biting her lips again. “She checks out?” Kira asked the nurse, who nodded. “Let’s get dinner and you can fill me in.”  
“Sure, but there’s not a whole lot to tell.” Ezri shrugged.   
"Sorry." Jadzia apologized for distracting Ezri and nearly giving up their secret as they headed down the stairs. 

Kira waited until Ezri had food and they were seated at the Replimat.  
“I have to ask, where’s your combadge?” Kira started off. Ezri practically winced at disappointing her superior and friend.  
“I had so much going through my head I accidentally forgot it on my dresser after changing into a shirt with a pocket.” She admitted.  
“Not because you didn’t want anyone to know where you were?” Kira asked seriously.  
“No, I just forgot it.”  
“You’re not investigating on your own, doing dangerous things you shouldn’t, Dax?” Kira pressed.  
“I promise.” Ezri replied, focusing her gaze solely on Kira, ignoring Jadzia. “I was in the holosuite to try and figure out how the weapon worked and how it was created, and if I figured it out I was going to tell you and Jearim my findings tomorrow morning.”  
“You didn’t figure it out?” Kira asked.  
“Well, the computer gave me the likely measurements for all the components, and I figured out that a sealant would have to be replicated to keep the stopper in the flask. N-butyl something. I was about to try to find a correlation between the amount of movement of the flask and time until explosion, then try and figure out how the poison could be created, but the power cut out.”  
“Was there any clue that something was wrong with the holosuite?”  
“I did notice something and made a mental note to tell Quark, what was it?” Ezri frowned in thought. “Oh, the computer repeated the answer to a question when I didn’t ask.”  
“That’s all the relevant or weird things you remember?”  
“Yeah. I paid Quark for 2 hours of holosuite time at 1930, the computer repeated an answer, a minute later the power failed and the door didn’t open.” Ezri summarized.  
“Why’d you fall asleep?”  
“I got bored and knew it would be over an hour until anyone found me… And I can’t have anxiety if I’m asleep.” Ezri added, quieter.  
“That wasn’t a bad decision.” Kira assured, placing a hand on her shoulder.  
“Forgetting my combadge was.”   
“Well… You eat and I’ll explain what happened on our side.” Kira avoided the topic. Ezri took a bite of food and blushed as her stomach growled. “At 2200 Quark went to the holosuite to let you know your time was up, probably planning to charge you for the extra half hour. He found the doors sealed shut and the power cut. He reported it to Jearim, let him know you were probably inside. Jearim asked the computer where you were and it said you were in your quarters, but a security officer didn’t find you there.” Kira summarized. Ezri nodded, looking at her food. “Jearim went to see the holosuite, then called an engineer to open it, and let me know what was going on. After that it was just a wait while Jearim collected evidence and the engineer fought with Rom’s wiring and cut through the things preventing the doors from being opened.” 

"Here's what I found out, I can send it to you in a message if you want." Ezri passed Kira the padd.   
"Please do, and Jearim." Kira replied. "Oh, you should know that Jabara's fine, but she's taking some leave to spend time with her family on Bajor."   
"Who's most senior medical officer without Bashir and Jabara?"   
"Aia Kri. He's been notified."   
"Bajoran?" Ezri asked, Kira nodded. "Good luck, Aia." Ezri shook her head. Imagine suddenly being acting CMO because your superiors are at a conference and recovering from being kidnapped, respectively. "Maybe I should invite him to talk."   
"Can't hurt." Kira shrugged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Headcanon that instead of 'if I was in your shoes', Trill say 'pouch'. Also headcanon that Trill language has a set of pronouns specific to Symbionts.


	5. Last Sessions

"Good morning, Lieutenant." Ezri smiled at the tall man.   
"Now what?" Cilegna folded his arms.   
"This is going to be fun." Jadzia commented as Ezri shut the door to her office.   
"You're probably aware that Chief Jearim is investigating Sev's death as a murder, not an accident, and that I'm doing my best to assist him." Ezri started.   
"I didn't kill Sev." He glared down at her.   
"I don't think you did." She sat and gestured to the other chair. "I want to know what you think happened, who you think might have done this."   
"As far as I know, Sev was the last one in the lab every day. I mean, we all left work and he stayed behind, alone." Cilegna replied, sitting.   
"You all left work together?"   
"We all left at the same time, but we didn't stay in a group."   
"So you don't know if anyone may have gone back." Ezri stated.   
"Can't help you there." He frowned.   
"Can you think of anyone who would have motive to kill Sev?" Ezri asked, Cilegna thought for a few seconds.  
"Larom used to, but I got Sev to cool on demanding perfection from him."   
"You can't think of anyone else who might have had a reason to kill Sev?"   
"No."   
"Okay, tell me about what everyone's working on." Ezri changed tactics.   
"Reath, Doval, and I are trying to determine the maximum aperture of the wormhole."   
"Unnecessary." Jadzia commented.   
"Sev, Larom, Liakkith, and Decalte are trying to view inside the subatomic particles in tetryons." Cilegna continued.   
"Slightly more interesting, also unnecessary." Jadzia commented.   
"Do you usually work in those teams?" Ezri asked.   
"Not those specific ones, but Liakkith likes being on the same team as Sev, and it's better if Sev and I are on different teams so we don't disagree as much."   
"I've heard that you commonly disagree with Sev and Liakkith." Ezri commented.   
"Yeah. With Sev and I it was more intellectual disagreement, but Liakkith can't bear for someone to criticize her crush." 

"Tell me more about her crush." Ezri requested.   
"It's like Sev can do no wrong. We'd be joking about how much of a perfectionist he was and she'd always defend him. If something didn't turn out like his hypothesis she'd blame just about anything to insist he still might be right. She was always reading Vulcan science publications on her padd during downtime." Cilegna explained. 

"When did this start?"   
"I remember noticing it, and wondering how long it would last about a month after she started working here, and she's been on the station for about a year now."   
"And you said she was planning on asking Sev out soon?"   
"Yeah, she was asking us all our opinion on what she should say and where she should suggest they eat."   
"But you don't believe she asked him yet?" Ezri recalled.   
"No, the past week or so she was really quiet at work, but even more nervous than usual and she kept staring at Sev. If she'd asked him, she's the type of person who doesn't hide her emotions, everyone would know." Cilegna assured. "You really think she might have killed Sev?"   
"You know her better than I do. Do you think she could?" Ezri asked.   
"You're such a counselor." Jadzia muttered, Ezri softly cleared her throat with a wince. She was definitely getting tea before starting her notes. And having a discussion with Jadzia.   
"I don't know." Cilegna sighed. "She's obsessed with him, but I just don't know if it could flip to homicide."   
“It’s okay,” Ezri nodded, “it’s a tough thing to think about. Is there anything else you think might help me and chief Jearim?”    
“Sorry, no.” Cilegna sighed.    
“It’s okay.” Ezri repeated. “I’m here if you think of something else, or on the off-chance you want to try counseling.” 

"Can I ask about something?" Cilegna asked.   
"Of course." Ezri replied immediately.   
"I heard you were locked in a holosuite. Are you sure the station is safe?"   
"Yes. As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. It was scary while it happened, but Chief Jearim is taking the threat seriously and has stepped up security. And I doubt you'd be targeted, so far it's the people investigating the case who have been attacked."   
"Okay. I'm glad you're okay." 

“Well that wasn’t very helpful.” Jadzia noted as Cilegna left and Ezri got a mug of tea from the replicator.   
“He didn’t say that he didn’t think she couldn’t have killed him.” Ezri pointed out. Jadzia blinked at her.   
“Ezri, that was a triple negative and too many pronouns. What?”   
“When I asked Cilegna if he thought Liakkith could have killed Sev, you expect people to say ‘no, the person I know could never kill someone’, Cilegna didn’t say that.” Ezri explained. “And speaking of not helpful-”   
“Here we go.” Jadzia crossed her arms.   
“If you have information or opinion that you think could be useful to me in the moment, please do tell me. But your snarky comments about my style of counseling and gathering information can wait until we’re alone!”   
“You just want my knowledge without having to deal with who I am as a person.” Jadzia stated.   
“Yes, that’s why I did the Rite of Emergence, I need your expertise. Look, I’m not saying you can’t make fun of me or whatever, I can deal with that. But what if you crack some joke and I laugh and the patient thinks I’m laughing at them?”   
“Fine.” Jadzia huffed. 

“Ensign Liakkith, welcome.” Ezri smiled.   
“Hi, Counselor Dax. Larom said you might want to talk to us about interpersonal relationships?” She smiled shyly as Ezri shut the door.   
“Yes, but that’s not the only reason I wanted to speak to you again. Some of your coworkers have been worried about you since you seemed to have a closer relationship to Sev than they did. I wanted to check in with how you’re doing.”   
“It’s only been a couple days. I think I’m doing the same. They mentioned that Sev and I were close?” She sat with her knees together, looking at her hands clasped in her lap.   
“A few people mentioned that you liked to be on the same team, you were planning on asking him out on a date, you’d argue with Lieutenant Cilegna about Sev’s plans.” Ezri listed casually.   
"Oh, yeah, that's all true."   
"Can I ask how you've been coping?" Ezri asked softly.   
"Like, what I've been doing?" Liakkith asked, Ezri nodded, then realized she wouldn't have seen that, still looking at her lap.   
"Mmhmm." Ezri responded.   
"Um, this might not have been the right thing to do, but the day Sev died we all got together at Quark's that evening and talked about him and drank."   
"Ensign, there are no right or wrong answers here." Ezri assured. "Grief is a tough thing to deal with. Did talking about Sev at Quark's help?"   
"It kinda helped me realize that he's dead, and made me sad that I'd never see him again and be able to go on a date with him."   
"Let's talk about that. Tell me about Sev, what about him did you like?"   
"Well, there's how he treated everyone as equals. In the lab, our ranks don't really matter, Sev expected us all to be knowledgeable, professional, accurate, stuff like that.”   
“Anything else?”  
“This is going to sound bad.” Liakkith hedged.   
“No judgement.” Ezri soothed.   
“He was always calm. A few days after Larom and I got here there was a Changeling drill, only we didn’t know it was a drill, then. We both got really nervous and he assured us that we were safe, that it was illogical for a Changeling to attack the science lab, that they couldn’t get through the forcefield covering the door. He could have just told us it was probably a drill, but instead he made us feel safe even if there was a Changeling.” She shrugged. “I know it’s probably a Vulcan thing, but it’s one of the things I really liked about him.” She sighed heavily. 

"Liakkith, do you have any neurodiversities I should know about?" Ezri asked, the ensign still not looking at her. It was more understandable their first meeting, with her just meeting Ezri and just starting to process her grief, but was becoming increasingly notable.   
"Does being really shy count?" She asked with a smile, finally glancing at Ezri. "That's why it took me so long to get the nerve up to ask Sev out."   
"How did that go?" Ezri asked.   
"Well, I- I was going to. The other day."   
"The day he was killed?" Ezri clarified.   
"Mmhmm."   
"That must have been very difficult to hear, considering what you had planned."   
"Yeah, that's why I had to cover my face." 

"Liakkith, I'm hoping you can help me with something." Ezri changed tactics.   
"What's that?" She glanced up again.   
"I heard that Sev and Lieutenant Cilegna tended to argue a lot, could you tell me about that?"   
"Cilegna was always thinking he had a better idea than Sev, and Sev was very fair, he'd listen to all our ideas, but Cilegna would keep arguing even when Sev explained why he made the decisions he did. Which he didn't even have to do, he's in charge, but sometimes Cilegna would keep arguing after Sev explained his logic."   
"So Cilegna would keep arguing, what did Sev do?" Ezri asked.   
"He'd tell him his logic spoke for itself, his decision stood, and to get to work."   
"Would Cilegna listen?"   
"Sometimes, sometimes I'd have to remind him that he wasn't head officer."   
"Would Cilegna listen to you?"   
"Not without arguing with me, too."   
"Sounds like a high-stress environment." Ezri commented.   
"Only sometimes. Once Cilegna stopped arguing everything would be fine. We'd just have to get through that a few times a week." Liakkith shrugged.   
"Did anyone else argue with Cilegna or Sev or anyone?"   
"Not often. We'd have discussions and disagreements, but it was mostly Cilegna who took it as far as arguing."   
"What was the last thing Cilegna argued about?"   
"Which type of probe we should modify and send into the wormhole." Liakkith answered immediately.   
"And when was that?"   
"Few days ago. Just under a week. The day before the day before Sev died."   
"Two days before?" Ezri clarified.   
"Between 52 and 26 hours before Sev died." She replied. "Well, it would be more like between 39 and 26 hours before he died, depending on when that happened. But morning makes the most sense, right?"   
"Liakkith, did this argument about the probe stand out to you as particularly different from any other argument?"   
"No." Liakkith shook her head, still looking at her lap. 

"Can I ask about the day before Sev died?" Ezri asked.   
"Go ahead." Liakkith shrugged.   
"What are the procedures for the end of the shift?"   
"Check all machines that were used, save all data." She replied. Ezri waited a second, but Jadzia didn't add anything.   
"What did Sev do at the end of the shift?"   
"Took care of his station."   
"I understand that you have two projects running, both of which have to do with the wormhole, does anyone have any personal projects?"   
"Not in the lab, not that I know of, but someone might have something in their quarters." Liakkith glanced up again, frowning in curiosity.   
"Did Sev usually get to work early?"   
"Are you investigating his death?" She frowned at Ezri.   
"Yes, but unfortunately Chief Jearim doesn't want to share information with me." Ezri sighed. "Did Sev usually get to work early?"   
"Yeah, he liked to check if anything had happened overnight." Liakkith stared at her lap again.   
"Did he usually stay later than everyone else?"  
"No, we all left at the same time, that's why I said it made more sense for him to have died in the morning. Was his death not an accident?"   
"We're still investigating and I don't think I'm allowed to say. What are you thinking?"   
"If he was killed, I don't know if I can trust my coworkers right now. Do you think it could have been Cilegna?"   
"You know him better than I do, what do you think?"   
"I don't know." Liakkith twisted her fingers together. "I mean, they argued, but it didn't seem different from normal, but they argued a lot, and Cilegna is now the ranking science officer. He does seem like an angry person, though, and I don't know where anyone went after work." Ezri waited a minute for Liakkith to continue, but she didn't say anything more. 

"Earlier you said you and Larom started working here at the same time?" Ezri recalled. Liakkith nodded. "Could you tell me more about him?"   
"He's nice, but he struggles with the work sometimes, Sev kept having to write him up for making too many mistakes. Sev and Cilegna argued about that, Cilegna convinced Sev that more write ups wouldn't help Larom improve, and that that was more important than reporting it."   
"How did Larom react to being written up?"   
"He got nervous and sad. I don't think he could have done it. Killed Sev, I mean. I think Cilegna is most likely. If it was a science officer, and if it was a murder." Liakkith added hastily.   
"Do you have reason to think it might be someone outside work?" Ezri asked.   
"No, Sev didn't talk about personal relationships." 

"We have about 15 minutes left, is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"   
"I'm worried ... Cilegna… m… m." She mumbled. Ezri walked closer.   
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch all of that?"   
"I'm worried that Cilegna did it and is mad at me." She repeated.   
"Well, you said you think Cilegna did it because he argued with Sev a lot, and now he's the ranking officer, right?" Ezri sat in her chair again as Liakkith nodded. "Well, you're a lower rank than him, you said you didn't initiate the arguments, and security on the station has been increased. Does that help?"   
"But didn't someone hack a holosuite to try to kill you?"   
"No, not at all." Ezri assured. "I was just locked in a holosuite for a couple of hours, but nothing happened, I took a nap. And I'm fairly certain I was targeted because I'm helping Chief Jearim investigate. You’re not. Does that help?"   
"Yeah. Thanks, counselor."   
"Glad I could help, and thank you for your help." Ezri smiled as Liakkith left. 

"I still don't know about her." Ezri muttered, moving to her computer console to write her notes. "Humans who have trouble making eye contact tend to have a neurological reason, or they're not good liars."   
"Maybe she's undiagnosed, or uncomfortable telling you about it, or telling you about it during a murder investigation, or something." Jadzia suggested. She lounged in one of the newly empty chairs, one leg over an armrest.  
"Possible, but if so she's incredibly good at masking the other traits of the most likely neurotype." Ezri frowned.   
"Would it be in her personnel file?"   
"She hasn't released that information to me, and it can only be done with her consent or in a life or death situation." Ezri shook her head.   
"Could she just really be that shy?"   
"A shyness that intense, I'd expect it to be a symptom of a mental disorder or neurotype."   
"Well I don't know anything about that." Jadzia shrugged.   
"Regardless, I need to send my conclusions to Jearim."   
"What conclusions?"   
"Larom didn't do it, Cilegna and Liakkith suspect each other." Ezri summarized.   
"That's not much of a conclusion."   
"I know." Ezri sighed. "One of them is lying and I can't figure out who."   
"Well, if Jearim suspects Larom and Cilegna, you suspect Liakkith and Cilegna…" Jadzia suggested. Ezri scoffed.   
"Jearim suspected Larom before talking to him or Liakkith. I really hope he’s changed his mind, about Larom at least. And that he has a better idea than me as to who did it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chance to comment about who you think the killer is :)


	6. Whodunnit

"Jearim to Counselor Dax." Her combadge relayed. Ezri held up a finger for her patient to wait.  
"Dax here, I'm in a session right now, I can come to the security office in about 30 minutes."  
"Please do. Jearim out."  
"Sorry about that, ensign, you were saying?" Ezri smiled.

Ezri entered the security office to find Jearim waiting for her.  
"I'm going to hold Cilegna and Liakkith on suspicion of murder." He announced.  
"You can't figure out who it is, either?" Ezri's shoulders slumped.  
"They both have means, motive, and opportunity. They both suspect the other. Karkor found erased replicator logs for the ingredients the night before Sevon was found, but the log of who ordered it was erased more completely, they’re working on reconstructing it. Neither one has an alibi. If neither one of us can get them to confess, I don't know that I'll be able to charge either one." He sighed.  
"If they suspect each other, maybe you should let them confront each other?" She suggested.  
"It's against the rules to let suspects interact, especially if they know we suspect them." He shook his head.  
"Why?"  
"They might change their stories, they might attack each other, a dozen things could go wrong."  
"We already have their stories, and we would have someone in the room, or a forcefield between them or something. One of them did it, and I can't think of another way to find out who." Ezri thought aloud.  
"Give me some time to think it over and talk to the Colonel." He sighed. She nodded and headed back to her office.  
"Good idea." Jadzia smiled once they were alone. "So good, Jearim's forced to respect you."  
“Unintended side effect, but I’m not complaining.” Ezri replied, smiling as well.

“Jearim to Counselor Dax.”  
“Go ahead.”  
“Please come to the security office to discuss your idea.”  
“On my way, Dax out.”  
“Does he hate using comms?” Jadzia asked.  
“I think he worries other people could be listening in, like how I didn’t know Cilegna was in the room with him when I told him Jabara was missing, and I may be in a session with a patient.” Ezri replied.  
“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that a security officer is a little paranoid.” Jadzia smiled.

“Dax.” Kira greeted with a smile, sitting in one of the security office guest chairs. “Chief Jearim says this was your idea.”  
“Yes.” Ezri replied.  
“Wow, he gave you credit.” Jadzia commented. Ezri quietly cleared her throat. “I know, I’m too funny and you can’t risk laughing.” Jadzia smiled.  
“Jearim thinks the safest way to have them confront each other is to arrest both on suspicion of murder, book them in different holding cells, and leave them alone to talk.” Kira summarized.  
“Sounds good.” Ezri nodded. "If you want a more emotional reaction, wait until past 2400 hours to arrest them."  
"Good idea." Jearim nodded. Jadzia grinned.  
"You have security cameras on the holding cells, right?" Ezri asked.  
"Yes, and you may join Colonel Kira and I in watching the suspects."  
“Thank you.”  
“I’ll alert both of you before arresting them, I plan to do so this evening.”

Jadzia tried again that evening in Ezri's quarters to convince her to tell Kira she liked her. “Nerys’ frustration with Odo’s crush on her was that he didn’t act on it. She knew he liked her, but until he said anything, she didn’t feel comfortable bringing it up, remember?” Jadzia pointed out. Ezri grumbled under her breath, lying facedown on her couch, head on a throw pillow. She couldn’t argue with their memories. “And then when he admitted that he had feelings for her, he wanted to put any thought of a romantic relationship on pause. So clearly the best option is to tell Nerys you like her and let her deal with that information however she sees fit.”  
“But what if ‘how she sees fit’ is to stop being my friend?” Ezri flopped to her back to press her palms to her forehead. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I can’t stop worrying about it.”  
“What if she already knows and is waiting for you to say something, like she did with Odo?” Jadzia countered. Ezri threw her pillow at Jadzia, it went through her. “That doesn’t change the situation.” Jadzia stated. “And now you’re down a pillow.”  
“I hate this. I hate you. I hate romance. I hate having emotions.” Ezri stated flatly.  
“Fair. Not going to make your crush go away.” Jadzia replied.  
“Nothing will.” Ezri grumbled. “We’ve had a crush on her for what, over seven years?”  
“You know what will make your crush go away.”  
“But I can live with it! Like you did!”  
“But what if Nerys can’t?” Jadzia asked.  
“I hate you.” Ezri replied without malice and rolled onto her side, away from Jadzia.  
“I know it’s scary. I was never brave enough to say anything." Jadzia sighed. "But I want you to learn from my mistakes, and if I have to leverage your anxiety against you, I will.”  
“I hate you so much.” Ezri stated.  
“It’s pretty telling that your only response is repeating how much you hate me.” Jadzia pointed out. "You know I'm right, and if you're not going to admit this to yourself, I'm going to do it for you."  
“I can’t just say ‘Kira, I really like you’!” Ezri protested, flopping to her back.  
“Yes, you can!” Jadzia smiled. “Just wait until you’re alone together and tell her ‘Kira, I really like you’. Just get it over with.”  
“I’m never calling you forward ever again. At least Joran didn’t invade my personal life.”  
“Uh huh.” Jadzia dismissed. "I'm here now and you've got to deal with me."  
“Jearim to Dax.” Ezri’s combadge relayed.  
“Go ahead.” Ezri replied, smiling a bit as Jadzia rolled her eyes at the interruption.  
“I’m planning on arresting Liakkith and Cilegna at 2500.”  
“I understand, thank you for telling me.”  
“Jearim out.”  
"Ezri, if you're not going to do it for your own peace of mind, do it for Nerys'." Jadzia continued to argue. "Give her the relief of not having to wonder when you'll ask her out."  
"We don't even know if she knows!" Ezri protested weakly.  
"We don't know for sure that she doesn't." Jadzia countered. They sighed at each other.

Ezri showed up at the security office at 2445 to find Jearim gone to arrest the suspects, and Kira sipping a raktajino. Thankfully Jadzia didn't suggest telling Kira she liked her, even though they were alone together. 

“I’m telling you, it wasn’t me! Show me the proof! Where’s your evidence?” Cilegna demanded as he was led to a holding cell, wearing pajamas.  
“Valid point.” Jadzia stated as Ezri and Kira watched the security video. He quieted when Jearim left, and paced his cell for a few minutes before lying down on the bench. 

“Please, how can you think I killed Sev? I loved him, ask anyone.” Liakkith pleaded as Jearim led her in, also in pajamas. Ezri frowned.   
“Still not sure about her?” Jadzia asked. Ezri shook her head minutely.  
“What do you mean?” Cilegna bounded off his bench and nearly ran into the forcefield. “Obviously you’re the one who killed him!”  
“How could I? Why would I?” Liakkith begged as Jearim put her in the cell across from Cilegna.  
“You’re obsessed with him! No one knows what anyone else did after leaving work that night.”  
“You could have killed him! Everyone knows you always argued with Sev and wanted his job!”  
“I did not want his job! And arguing with someone doesn’t mean you murdered them!”  
"Anything?" Kira asked Ezri. She shook her head.  
"They just interacted with Jearim, and they're in holding cells, their defenses are going to be up for a while." Ezri replied as Jearim returned to watch with them.  
"I can't believe you got me arrested in the middle of the night!" Liakkith accused.  
"I got you arrested?! I didn't do anything! You're the one who must have killed Sev, you got me arrested!" Cilegna retorted. 

Liakkith and Cilegna had been arguing on and off for over an hour, but no-one wanted to interrupt them in case they said something incriminating. The more tired and emotional they got, the more likely their filter would slip. Kira brought them drinks from the Replimat, raktajino for her and Jearim, and a double strong Fanalian tea for Ezri.   
"Thanks. You can go to bed if you want, you don't have to be here." Ezri said as Kira handed her a mug.  
"One of them murdered Lieutenant Sevon, kidnapped Nurse Jabara, and tried to do the same to you." Kira replied. 

"Jearim, that list of ingredients Karkor discovered deleted." Ezri started during a lull in the suspects' arguing.   
"What about them?" He asked.  
"Did you confront Liakkith and Cilegna with them?"  
"No, engineering still hasn't pieced together who replicated them."  
"Do they know we know the murder weapon?" She continued, nodding toward the viewscreen.   
"They know we know it, of course, but I haven't told them. Only the killer knows what it is."  
"Go read the list, state when they were replicated, act confident. See how they react." Ezri suggested. Jearim considered it.  
"I don't see how it could hurt." He replied, grabbing a padd and heading out. Ezri and Kira watched him on the security camera, watched the suspects as he authoritatively read the list of replicated chemicals. Cilegna frowned, confused, while Liakkith's eyes were wide for a second before frowning as well.   
"She did it." Ezri declared.   
"What? You're sure?" Kira asked. Ezri nodded.   
"What are you doing?" Cilegna asked after a few seconds of silence in the holding cells. "Aren't prisoners supposed to have adequate time to sleep?"  
"He's right, I'll get you written up for this, and for wrongful imprisonment!" Liakkith added.  
"These chemicals were replicated at 2048 a few nights ago, combined into a motion-sensitive bomb that killed Lieutenant Sevon the next morning." Jearim announced.  
"Watch their faces." Ezri talked over him. "The innocent person will show mostly confusion and surprise. The guilty one will show fear or anger. There's a brief moment where emotions occur before they can be hidden."  
"I see it too." Kira nodded.  
"Did you learn that from Joran?" Jadzia asked.  
"We'll tell Jearim when he returns." Kira grinned at her. "Good job, Dax."  
"One of you committed premeditated murder." Jearim continued lecturing Liakkith and Cilegna. "I offer again, confess and I swear that will be taken into consideration at your sentencing."  
"I shouldn't have told him to be confident." Ezri muttered as he left the holding cells. "He has to know that a confession at this hour could be considered under duress." 

"I think if we let them stew until morning, we'll have a confession." Jearim announced with a smile as he returned.  
"Dax figured it out." Kira replied with her own smile.  
"How? Who did it?"  
"Liakkith. I'll show you." She backed up the security footage to when Jearim entered the holding cells, both suspects trying to sleep. "Watch their faces."  
"I don't see anything out of the ordinary." He frowned.  
"She gets far more scared than he does at the list of chemicals, he's only confused. She also gets more angry, even though he's generally an angrier person."  
"I just woke them up, and they're in holding cells, they're bound to be confused and scared." He rationalized. "And I'd probably be angry too, if someone was threatening to jail me for a crime I didn't commit. If you can't prove it to me, I can't prove it in a court of law, counselor." He shook his head. Ezri stared at him, anger and helplessness rising in her stomach.  
"Oh, I'm angry, too, and if I was alive I might end up in jail." Jadzia retorted, hands in fists.

Ezri walked out of the security office and paced the Promenade. She knew proving murder based on facial expressions would be difficult, but for him to dismiss her like that! "What a self-righteous pompous ass!" Jadzia ranted. "It's like he's determined to not let you be right!"  
"Shut up, I need to think." Ezri muttered. Liakkith was smart enough to kill Sevon with no useful evidence, smart enough to slow their investigation. But her killing method was contradictory, her motive emotional, and she didn't seem to want to talk to Ezri about anything. "I think I can prove it."  
"You can prove Liakkith did it?" Jadzia asked. Kira exited the security office and watched Ezri pace. Ezri nodded yes to Jadzia's question. If Jearim didn't talk to the suspects again, she should be able to get a confession out of Liakkith. Ezri sighed and walked over to Kira.  
"I told Jearim that his behavior towards you was and has been unacceptable, and that if he wants to stay on DS9, he has to be able to treat others with courtesy and respect. I should have stepped in sooner, but I thought you'd want to handle it on your own."  
"I would've handled it before now." Jadzia commented. Ezri remembered all the fights Curzon got in.  
"Sorry you had to deal with him. I thought if I helped enough with the investigation, he'd respect me, but apparently not." Ezri frowned.   
"Keep me apprised about him. I need a senior staff that can work together, I'm not afraid to replace him." Kira advised.  
"I will. And thank you."  
"How was your walk?" Kira smiled a bit.  
"I might be able to get Liakkith to confess tomorrow."  
"Really?"  
"I stand the best chance if she doesn't interact with Jearim at all, not even seeing him if possible." Ezri asked. Anger would close Liakkith off, and Ezri needed her as emotionally open as possible.   
"I can arrange that." Kira nodded. 

Ezri took a sleep aid before falling into bed. In less than 8 hours she was going to have to wake up for an incredibly emotionally taxing session, so she needed to rest while she could.

Liakkith looked around nervously as Atola led her into Ezri's office. Liakkith was wearing non-uniform clothes.   
"Welcome, have you had breakfast?" Ezri asked as she shut she door to Atola in the waiting room.  
"Uh, yeah, what's going on?" Liakkith asked.   
"Would you like some tea?"  
"With cream, please." Liakkith sat on the edge of the chair as Ezri ordered two mugs of tea and sat as well, passing one to Liakkith.  
"Ensign, can I call you by your personal name?"   
"Megan." She nodded, looking at her tea.  
"Megan, I need you to tell me the truth of what happened after your shift the night before Sevon died." Ezri stated quietly.  
"What?" Liakkith stared at Ezri and jerked her mug towards herself, which spilled tea on her hand. "Ah!" Ezri passed her a tissue.  
"Megan. I need you to tell me the truth about what happened." She repeated softly but with no room for argument.   
"I don't know what you-" Liakkith started.   
"I know you loved Sev." Ezri stated simply, softly. "I know violence is not who you are as a person. He turned you down, didn't he?" Ezri asked softly. Liakkith sniffled and nodded. "And you'd built that up so much in your mind, you had to have been devastated." Liakkith nodded again and wiped her eyes. "Tell me what happened next, Megan. I know you want to get it out."   
"I asked him if he wanted to go out on a date, and he said he already knew who he was going to marry, and it wasn't me, and I felt so ignorant, forgetting that he might already have someone." She sobbed. "But you're right, I'd obsessed over it for a year, it was the biggest thing. And I couldn't have him think of me that way, I couldn't bear to see him at work, or ever again. It didn't take any time to figure out how to safely fill the air with a deadly chemical, how to erase the fact that it was me. I cried myself to sleep every night since. I knew it was wrong and an overreaction when I woke up, but it was too late and he was already dead!" Ezri sighed at the young woman crying in the chair across from her. Thankfully Jadzia kept quiet. "I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I couldn't have people thinking of me as that kind of person. But I didn't hurt you, or nurse Jabara." Once Liakkith calmed down, Ezri let Atola back in, to bring her back to the holding cells to write her confession.  
"That was really good, Ezri." Jadzia breathed.   
"Thanks." Ezri sighed, rubbing her face. 

Ezri had just managed to finish her notes on the session when the door chimed.   
"Come in."   
"Hey, Dax, I just got word of what happened." Kira said as she entered. "That's amazing, that you were able to get her to confess."  
"She practically wanted to." Ezri shrugged.  
"Speaking of confessing…"Jadzia said pointedly. Ezri took a deep breath.  
"What are you doing tonight?"  
"I don't have any plans, you want to celebrate?" Kira smiled.  
"I'll probably be too tired, but I may want to just talk, just us." Ezri ignored Jadzia's grin.  
"Sure." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guess right, or did you think someone else was the killer?  
Next week: Kira finds out about Jadzia


	7. Once Lost, Twice Forgiven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for the chapter title to ThatAloneOne  
‘Daxi’ as plural of Dax coined by SenyorSpock

“Hey Dax, how are you doing?” Kira asked as she entered Ezri’s quarters.  
“Hey, did you want something to drink?” Ezri dodged the question, heading to her replicator.  
“No thanks.”  
“One large Tarkalean tea.” 

Ezri could feel Kira’s curious gaze on her as they sat on her couch, but stared resolutely at her tea. Which was just another odd thing she was doing that caused Kira to look at her expectantly.   
“Um, I assume you know what happened last time I investigated a murder on the station.” Ezri started. “What I did, specifically. I mean, who I asked for help.” She clarified, managing to stop before truly rambling.   
“Yes...” Kira replied, clearly waiting for the end of Ezri’s explanation, her tone warning Ezri not to say she’d done it again.  
“I sort of did it again.” Ezri admitted. Kira’s hair and jaw frills were immediately fully flared, her posture shifting to more offensive. “Not Joran!” Ezri added quickly, holding a hand up to stop Kira’s anger. “I didn’t channel Joran this time, I learned that lesson.” She assured. “I- we needed help fast, so… Jadzia’s here.” Ezri gestured to where Jadzia had been leaning against the window, watching this scene unfold with amusement, then Ezri remembered she was the only one who could see Jadzia and pointed to her own head. “Er, here.” She watched as Kira’s alarmed posture softened, her hair and frills relaxed, though she continued to stare at Ezri. “So, I wanted you to know that that was why I’ve been acting so weird, and also I thought you might want to, maybe, talk to her? She's proud of your promotion and likes your hair like that.” Ezri explained, nervous under Kira’s gaze. 

“Ezri, tell me what’s going on. What do you mean ‘Jadzia’s here’?” Kira asked, leaning closer and tucking her hair behind her ear.  
“Well, normally memories from past hosts are just memories, but when the Rite of Emergence is performed, their knowledge, personality, and image are, I don’t know, brought to the front of Dax’s mind, and I -I guess the word is hallucinate- that previous host.” Ezri explained.  
“Don’t say ‘hallucinate’-” Jadzia objected, Ezri pointedly cleared her throat, then winced and took a sip of tea.   
"Dax." Kira sighed heavily. "You told me you weren't doing anything dangerous, anything you weren't supposed to. You know we're going to have to have an official discussion about you lying to me."   
"I know." Ezri nodded.   
"You may not be allowed to investigate murders anymore, for your own good." Kira continued.   
"I understand." Ezri nodded again.   
"I don't, how in the pools-" Jadzia demanded, Ezri loudly cleared her throat and winced in pain again. She took a big sip of tea and tried to swallow slowly. 

“Is that cough or whatever part of it?” Kira asked.  
“Not usually? The Rite of Emergence doesn’t give me a scratchy throat, Jadzia keeps making unnecessary comments and jokes and stuff, but I needed to concentrate on catching a murderer, so that was how I reminded her that I needed quiet to focus.” Ezri explained.   
"How you told me to shut up." Jadzia corrected with a smile.   
“You’ve been doing that a lot.” Kira observed.  
“Jadzia’s not the best at staying quiet.” Ezri replied.  
“Excuse me, you try not saying anything all day!” Jadzia defended.   
“She really wasn’t.” Kira chuckled. “So, for the past few days, you’ve been seeing her walking around and talking about stuff like my hairdo?”  
“We also did science.” Ezri defended.  
“And you can see her and hear her now?” Kira continued. Ezri nodded.  
“It’s not- she’s not really here, she can’t talk about what Sto-vo-kor’s like or anything, but I know how close you two were, and I didn’t want to end the Rite without giving you this opportunity. But I totally understand if you don’t want to.”  
“Can she hear me?” Kira asked. Ezri nodded again. “When are you going to end it?”  
“Probably tonight, there’s no reason to continue.”  
“When you have your _ zhian'tara _ , or if you do this again, will she remember this conversation?”  
“I don’t know.” Ezri shrugged. “I will, and this is all being processed through my brain, so probably?”  
"Lela remembered Curzon's _zhian'tara_, I'll probably remember this." Jadzia added.   
“Where is she?” Kira asked.   
“By the window.” Ezri nodded towards it, a little confused about why Kira cared. Jadzia smiled and moved into Kira’s eyeline as Kira looked in her direction.

“Jadzia.” Kira paused to take a deep breath. “I miss you. So much. I’m glad Ezri asked you for help. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her and I'm proud of her bravery.” Kira’s hand found Ezri’s and Jadzia grinned at them as Ezri blushed from the praise. “Thank you for sharing your knowledge, and your particular type of humor with Ezri, too.” Kira chuckled. "But I'm hurt to hear that you haven't been respecting her. I always knew I was able to count on you for what needed to be done. If you can make friends with Jem'Hadar, Jadzia, you can treat other Dax hosts well." Jadzia's shoulders dropped and she looked ashamed.   
"You're right." Jadzia sighed, Ezri repeated her. "I was so excited at getting to see how everyone changed, to talk to the next host, I wasn't as considerate as I should have been. Sorry, Ezri."   
"Sorry, Ezri. Thank you, Jadzia, and I'm sorry for disrespecting you, too."   
"Wow, I never thought I'd be part of a counseling session with two hosts to the same symbiont." Kira stated. The Daxi chuckled. 

“Now tell her how you feel.” Jadzia urged as she walked over and lounged in a chair. Ezri glanced at Kira, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't possibly know what Jadzia said.  
“What?” Kira asked.  
“Nothing important, don’t worry about it.” Ezri dismissed.  
“Now’s a perfect time, tell her.” Jadzia continued, Ezri pointedly cleared her throat.  
“What is she saying?” Kira asked. Ezri belatedly remembered that she had just explained that code.  
“Go on!” Jadzia smiled, leaning forward. “Just say it. ‘Kira, I really like you’.” Ezri glanced between the two women.  
“Kira…” Ezri started. “There’s… Did you know Jadzia had a crush on you?”  
“Yeah.” She nodded sadly. “But I wasn't ready to date when we met, and I’m not the type to have a brief fling, and she didn’t seem like she was ready to settle down until Worf, and even then… Our timing just wasn’t right, I guess.” She sighed.  
“Oh, Nerys.” Jadzia sighed, trying to stroke her face.  
“I… I think I do, too." Ezri said. "Have a crush on you. And I understand if you don’t want to act on it because these feelings may be leftover from Jadzia, but she’s been bugging me to tell you ever since I told her, and she won’t shut up about it,” Kira grinned at that, Ezri kept rambling, “and I don’t think reassociation counts here since the two of you never had a relationship and you’re Bajoran, but… Now you know.” Ezri sighed and hid her face in her tea mug. Kira nodded.  
“For a while I was worried about this. So much of how I felt for you was tangled up in knowing you have Jadzia’s memories. But we’ve gotten to know each other aside from Jadzia. I’m so glad we’re friends, Ezri.” Kira set Ezri’s mug aside to hold her hands, Ezri braced for her to say she didn’t want to risk their friendship. “I care about you a lot, and if you’re willing to give this a shot, I am, too.”  
“... Really?” Ezri asked, stunned. Jadzia was grinning hugely and glancing between them, chin in her hands, elbows on her knees.  
“Really. I want to be in a relationship with you too, Ezri.” Kira chuckled.  
“You did it, Ezri.” Jadzia whispered, then giggled.  
“Jadzia, go away.” Ezri groaned.  
“Can’t.” She grinned, unrepentant.  
“Maybe we should continue this conversation when you’re alone.” Kira suggested.  
“It’ll take less than half an hour to end the Rite if you want to stay here.” Ezri offered.   
“Okay.” Kira smiled. 

Ezri took a deep breath of hot mud and looked at Jadzia’s image in the mirror.  
“_Chzui vok Ezri sheyhal bashar. I'nora ja'kala vok. _ ”   
“Thanks for letting me see Kira again.” Jadzia smiled.   
“_Zheem Dax nah sass eye ahn. D'za oo bah zheest. Jadzia rhee jehr hey dah. _ ”   
“And I really am proud of you, Ezri. So much.”  
“Thank you, Jadzia. For everything. _ Tu Dax noh zhian 'vok j'zui. Jadzia rhem tanas Ezri. _” Ezri sighed and smiled as Jadzia’s blue eyes faded back to her own in the mirror, then turned to talk to Kira, smiling on the couch. She felt courage and love well up in her chest. It didn't matter if her love for Kira came from Jadzia, Ezri was feeling it now. It was real, and she had a chance to fulfill it. 

"Can I call you Nerys?" She asked as she returned to the couch.   
"Of course, Ezri." Kira grinned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! Hope you liked. I have a bunch more Dax-centric fic if you're interested.


End file.
